Monday, June 11, 2012

Don Benedict XVI: Why did you go to the police? Why didn't you come to me first?

Oh man, just when you think you're out they pull you back in.

Pope il Padrino XVI called for faithfulness from his followers following a scandal over the leak of confidential papers from the Vatican that has led to the arrest of his butler. "That rat fink Gabriele. He wouldn't know omertà if it came up and bit him on the...I mean let's all pray for his delivery from this ordeal," the pope said.

"I encourage you to cultivate a personal bond with the Vicar of Christ as part of your spirituality," the pope said in a speech at the Vatican Triangle Social Club, the diplomatic school of the Holy See. "Because as the Vicar of Christ, I may need a bond in a few weeks if you get what I'm talking about."

He added: "For those who work in the Holy See, it is of particular importance, since they spend much of their energy, their time and their daily ministry in the service of the Successor of Peter. And as the Successor of Peter I'm telling you spend as much energy, time, and daily ministry as you can shredding documents from the 'red' files."

"God's faithfulness is the key to, and the source of, our own faithfulness. I would like today to remind you of precisely this virtue, which well expresses the unique bond existing between the pope and his direct collaborators. I would further like to remind you that under Italian law, 'collaborators' are equally guilty, so if you're thinking about making a deal with the Carabinieri, remember, as a spiritual organization we can come after you even after you're dead."

The Vatican has been shaken by the scandal, which has drawn attention to divisions between senior clergymen lead by Monsignori Bruno Tattaglia in the Vatican and the powerful Consigliori of State Tarcisio (The Red Hammer) Bertone.

In other vatican news, it was learned that it was Captain McClusky who broke Mike's jaw and he's definitely on Sollozzo's payroll and for big money.

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