We'd like to chew a bit more on that knuckle of gristle we threw out yesterday. Yeah, yeah, we know what you're thinking: Ironicus! You're going to carry a consistent thought for more than the time it takes to freshen your drink? What, did the liquor store burn down?
Ha ha, very funny. Give us a little credit, OK? Sometimes reality can penetrate our Stoli powered shields to the point where when we sit down to commit blog we can only stare at the screen in a stupor as the sociopathy washes over us like runoff from a broken waste containment lagoon.
OK, the stupor part may not be connected to the sociopathy part, but you get the picture.
Take our home state of Michigan for example. The city of Pontiac is without a police force, Jackson has lost most of its fire department, rural counties are planning to let paved roads go back to gravel because they have no money for upkeep, Monroe has laid off all of its public school teachers for next year (they promise to call some back), Detroit public schools are seriously considering class sizes of 60 students. So what does our newly installed republican governor suggest to "reinvent" Michigan? Cut money to schools because hey, why not? They'll all be privatized pretty soon anyway and when the unions are broken teachers will work for $1.37 an hour and have to take out a loan to get a bottle of aspirin if they get sick. In other words, paradise!
So you'll forgive us if we didn't watch President Muslim explain to us how wonderful it was that we'd found more brown people to bomb into freedom. We had a nagging feeling that it would just be a replay of one of Bush's speeches, but with more syllables and less mispronunciations. Bottom line: Sameo sameo.
Now, we don't mean to rag on the Kenyan Usurper too much because we expected he would disappoint us. All politicians disappoint once they get elected. The thing is, Barry Hussein didn't disappoint us for the reasons we expected. See, we knew he'd never get half his proposals past the republicans, but we really felt that he was a guy who cared about stuff and might actually, you know, try to help keep America from turning into a third world nation with a first world military that's got an attitude. Instead he hires the bankers who got us into this mess to fix it, and it's not even a work release program either because these guys are never going to see the inside of a jail cell.Then he ramps up a war that even the Russians were smart enough to figure out they couldn't win. But when it comes to pushing policies that will get people back to work, or help them stay in their houses, all he's got are some encouraging words. Multi-syllabic words to be sure, but try buying a loaf of bread to take back to your refrigerator box under the highway with a video of one of his speeches sometime.
And you just know the dude would have made a great Senator. See, they plan and plot and argue and maneuver and just generally beat ideas to death with language, then throw down a vote and may the best man win, but a president, he's out there man, he's like all there is, you know? Executive branch and all that. Try a little executing from time to time. Just saying.
We do appreciate having a president who can walk and chew gum at the same time though, someone who holds a book right side up when he tries to read, and can actually name a philosopher when asked instead of believing that all Western thought flows from the ruminations of some backwoods Jewish apocalyptic preacher, but we wonder why, when it comes to responding to republicans who want to make the IRS into the abortion police, or make workers have to decide between fighting for a living wage and feeding their children, he's all like, republicans, let's compromise: you tell me what you want and I'll give it to you. Bipartisanship FTW!!
To be fair, we'll admit that these are complex and convoluted issues that probably far exceed the meager capabilities of our Stoli addled brain, and we understand that when our governor tells us he has to shift the tax burden here in the state from businesses to poor people so the businesses will have more money to create jobs with, he's only telling us the same thing the Feds have been telling us for, what, the last thirty years or so. We probably should give up trying to figure these things out for ourselves and just listen to our betters.
Oh, btw, if you're driving through Michigan anytime in the next few years, better stick to the main roads. Some of those county roads are going to have pot holes so big they'll have their own eco-systems.