Friday Hound Blogging

You know, we spend quite a lot of time on this blog pointing out that the overlords are, as a group, oh, how to say this politely...fecal matter? No that's not it. Fecal matter can be used as fertilizer and so has a purpose.

Well, no matter. The point is that we have painted the overlords with a broad brush and may have contributed to an overall impression amongst our reader(s) that these people are somewhat less that fully functioning sentient beings who lack even the rudiments of those characteristics which we like to refer to as part of what it takes to be a human being.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyway, this week we thought we'd change the focus a little and present for your edification the Ironicus Maximus Spotlight in which we zero in on one particular overlord so that you can see for yourself that, once you get to know individual overlords, your opinion of them...erm...doesn't change at all.

This week, Eb Neter because...well he expects us to believe his name is really Eb Neter.

Now, according to Eb's bio he's been handicapping greyhounds for thirty years from Florida to New Hampshire because you have to move around a lot when you owe that many people that much money.   In that time Eb has written 508 articles on greyhound racing which have attracted  almost 38,000 views and...uh...one comment. That's almost 8,000 views per article and...uh...one comment.

OK in Eb's defense we have to say that it's a well known fact that people dumb enough to bet on greyhounds have what can best be described as a love hate relationship with that whole reading and writing thing, and if it hadn't been for Eb clicking on his own articles 80 times a day only his mom and that guy who thinks greyhounds are actually aliens from Proxima Centauri sent here to observe us prior to the invasion would have found the articles anyway.

Still, Eb thinks he has something important to say and the fact that he is saying to to people who have the cumulative IQ of tree bark hasn't stopped him from penning such classics as Why Did Bac's Xtreme Beat Yahoo Omar in the He's My Man Classic at Palm Beach Kennel Club? Answer: Because he got to the finish line first. Or how about Greyhound Handicapping - When to Bet Wide Runners. When? When they're faster than the other dogs. And who can forget How to Win on Dogs - Are You Serious? Answer: I have to have my address pinned to my shirt so I can get home, what do you think? And our personal favorite Why Don't We Just Cut The Crap And You Just Send Me Your Money.

It's like Eb says, "Empty your wallet of credit and debit cards and anything more than a twenty-dollar bill and a couple bucks for a snack or a drink. For some people, it’s best if they go to the track, put down their bets and leave. In fact, why don't you save yourself the bus fare out there? Just take the twenty and throw it in the street. You've got about the same chance of winning."

Where else are you going to get straight up advice like that? You just can't teach that kind of insight. It's got to be the result of long years of experience and not a small amount of closed head trauma.  We mean, this is the guy who wrote, "Very few dogs actually fade. What happens is that the dogs behind them close on them and pass them."

Wow. Just wow. Do you realize the implications of that? When you're driving in your car, you're not getting closer to your destination, you're getting farther from your starting point! It's relativity man, right there in front of us all the time and we didn't see it! It took Einstein years to figure that out.

Hey Kowboy. Did you know that when you were running your speed relative to the other dogs was the same as that observed by the toothless idiots in the stands? Eb figured that out.

Kowboy is young and puppy-like. He is very affectionate and wants to be right near you and in your face. He is really outgoing, social, happy and friendly and his tail wags often. He will rest his head on your lap for pets. He is energetic and playful; he likes toys and is starting to fetch. His ears stand straight up like a deer. TV fascinates him. He follows his foster mom around the home. He likes to collect things: toys, socks, etc. Kowboy would do well in a working family home with well-mannered children, 8 and up – since he is young and bouncy. He is good with other dogs and would probably be fine as an only dog. He is really smart and he would do well with someone who has some dog experience. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Lazlo Update: Lazlo wants to be in your lap when you are driving, but is getting better. He walks okay on lead. He is interested in squirrels. He greets visitors to the home for pets. He likes playing with toys and especially likes squeaky toys and will pull the squeaker out.