Monday, April 14, 2008

On The Bright Side He Throws A Mean Bar-b-Que

We're here to officially announce that this presidential campaign has gone on so long that even the candidates have given up trying to act like they're making sense. Take McCain for example.

Republican presidential candidate John McCain is attempting to reassure Americans that "I detest war" even as he strongly backs the current U.S. war in Iraq. "Look," McCain told reporters, "I'm either against the war I'm for, or for the war I'm against. You figure it out. I lost interest long ago."

McCain senior adviser Charlie Black said, "McCain is the last guy who wants to go to war and he knows all the other steps to do to avoid it." When it was pointed out that America was already at war, and thus war hadn't been avoided Black responded "Really? Does the senator know this?"

McCain is adhering to a view that the United States can win a war against a highly committed, diffuse group of guerrillas on their home territory with the overwhelming and often indiscriminant use of force, just like we did in Viet Nam.

He says the United States must stay in Iraq so the Iraqis can save their oil money to buy escape homes in other countries. In addition, he says we must remain there in some fashion in the years ahead as targets. Now that a troop increase in Iraq that he had recommended has improved security except where it hasn't, more Americans are with him and willing to be more patient, he believes.

Of course he also believes in horoscopes, cutting taxes increases revenue and eating raw noodles will cure erectile dysfunction.

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