Tuesday, November 22, 2011

BREAKING: Fox Viewers Dumber Than People Who Live In Caves; In Other News Hot Soup Declared "Hot"

We're coming to you today from the Department Of The Painfully Obvious here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The DOTPO is a division of the Lack Of Spelling Ability Should Have Been A Clue Company in partnership with We Don't Need No Education, Inc.

It seems yet another study has shown that when it comes to having a grip on the complex, fast changing events in the world today, viewers of the Fox News Network would be better off blowing up their teevees.
A new Fairleigh Dickinson PublicMind Poll finds that the Sunday morning political shows on television "do the most to help people learn about current events, while some outlets, especially Fox News, lead people to be even less informed than those who they don't watch any news at all."
Now, right off the bat we have to say that if you measure helping people learn about current events by using the Sunday morning political shows, you've already set the bar pretty low, but in defense of Fox viewers we have to at least speculate that their attention is often diverted from the screen because they're are also reading Bill O'Reilly's book.
"For example, people who watch Fox News, the most popular of the 24-hour cable news networks, are 18-points less likely to know that Egyptians overthrew their government than those who watch no news at all (after controlling for other news sources, partisanship, education and other demographic factors). Fox News watchers are also 6-points less likely to know that Syrians have not yet overthrown their government than those who watch no news."
Now that's a pretty unfair comparison there because Fox viewers know there is only one country over in the brown part of the world and it's called Sharia and it wants to blow up all of our MacDonalds and secretly feed us halal until we become Muslim communists. We bet if you asked about some domestic issue Fox viewers would be much better informed, right Megyn Kelly?

Somewhere, Edward R Murrow is trying to hang himself.

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