Tuesday, June 14, 2011

If Hitler Had Been A Cynophobe Women Wouldn't Need To Work Outside The Home

Well...um...this is odd.
Rabbi Daniel Lapin, a favorite figure on the Religious Right, really out-did himself on Wallbuilders Live with David Barton yesterday. The topic of conversation was the suggestion that animals should be referred to as “companions” instead of “pets.” Lapin claimed that the elevation of animals in our society has lead to horrible things, from Nazi Germany to (gasp!) women’s rights.
OK, our first question is what's a Jew doing on a christian radio show? We mean, sure christians like Israel and all, but that's just because it happens to be the place where Gog and Magog are finally gonna get their Satan loving buttocks kicked by the big JC. As for the people living in Israel...ah...not so much.

Be that as it may, however, the good Rabbi did come on and say treating animals better means treating people worse, to which St Francis of Assisi replied, "stuff it Jewboy."

Course, St Francis being a catholic and all, probably neither Barton of Rabbi Bonehead have heard of him. Haven't heard of Dr. Randall Lockwood (vice president of training and initiatives for the Humane Society of the United States) either we guess. You would have thought they'd have picked up on a little chatter the J man laid on his posse one day:
Verily I say unto you, they who partake of benefits which are gotten by wronging one of God's creatures, cannot be righteous...
 Now you're thinking, "Hey, this is David Barton we're talking about here. When has being righteous ever been an issue for him?"

OK, OK we see your point, so let's quit beating around the bush and get right to the obligatory Hitler quote:
It’s not an accident that Adolf Hitler was almost never seen without his dog, who he was petting constantly. Loved his dog!
Frequent reader(s) of this blog know that ambition is the seed of despair...erm...we mean know that we here in the marbled halls have expressed more than a passing fancy for canis familiaris on more than one occasion. And yet it's been over a year since we goosestepped around the house in jackboots and we can't even remember how long it's been since we felt compelled to invade neighboring countries. Hmmm...well, maybe it's OK for guys to have pets, just not the wimmenz:
The reality is that the lives of most women are not as good today as they were years ago, they’re just not good. Now “oh they’ve got opportunities,” yeah they do, like they can get shot up and tortured in Iraq, and guess what-I’ve traveled, you’ve traveled. I mean how often does my heart break when I see a woman on a business trip frantically trying to calm her children over the telephone and tell them they should go to be with the sitter and she’ll be home after they’re asleep. That’s the woman who’d like to be with her kids if she could, but no--we really are making life tougher on people and all of this is of course consistent with the idea of promoting rights for animals.
Since we're not theologians like the good Rabbi, or historians like Mr. Barton we have to say this demonstration of high powered religio/historical logic is beyond our meager intellectual abilities, even after a Stoli or three, but in keeping with the fine tradition of religious thought and historical scholarship represented by these two intellectual giants, we'd like to offer our contribution to the ultimate survival of American society, and rescue the ladies at the same time, so we'll be contacting Rabbi Lapin and Mr. Barton with invitation to join our new national campaign: Kick a Cat for Women's Rights.

Using the same power of reason and logical skill that enabled Rabbi Lapin to analyze the pet/working women conundrum and arrive at his conclusions regarding the treatment of animals and the need for women to stay out of airports while their children are still too young to drive, we expect Kick a Cat for Women's Rights will solve the infrastructure problem in the United States and finally enable the Cubs to win the series.

You don't have to thank us. It's something we do for the good of all.

5 comments:

Michelle said...

I " beg" to differ.
Abortions, birth control, divorces, acceptance of living together before marriage if marriage at all...as well as being "happily gay" have made women far less the slave than years ago...but that is the obvious. And pedophiles , according to the thousands of blogs and companies that hide it, just hate the " obvious"...and just hate " the peace".
In fact,so does the Vatican....and only recently has " he" accepted " condoms"...with Bush.
But by the way, it is glorious, that religions are becoming less important and the true health of the planet the main objective , now.
Imagine how the world will feel when they " discover" how betrayed they have been by all of it....from Popes to Queens to IRA to PLO to Walmart and Rite Aid!
I just cannot wait for the courts to seize all those " assets".

Dr. Jay SW said...

It's the great irony of fundamentalism that much as fundies of different stripes hate each other--though, at this point, the fundie Jews and Christians have put aside their hatred of each other to unite in their hatred for the fundamentalist Muslims (who also have a hate-hate relationship with the fundamentalist Hindus), when it comes down to the day to day questions of gender relations, they form a kind of misogynist universalism...

Michelle said...

Dr. Jay?
SW?
Kind of like " Jen Krebs"?
No?
You are a " doctor"?
Or you hoped to " be"?
I hope you are not one of the ones in " S&M"?

Seeing Eye Chick said...

Neither of these dorks have a clue. As usual they are trying to equate education, opportunity and social power and visibility of women with bad things like bad mothers and other social ills {like being kind to animals}.

If the males in this world had truly appreciated all that women do, especially [even] when performing what is traditionally slated as women's work then we wouldn't have had to fight for opportunities, the ability to vote, to be educated, professionals, and pick our own spouses. Silly little things like that {make our money and keep it} or Owning property.

The deal is, both the left and the right are guilty as hell of pigeon-holing women as either/or wife or professional, instead of and/if. And then moralizing that woman's decision, often without taking into account her talents, skills, or her situation.

We are forced to make choices that are terrible, terrible choices. Do you have a rich, satisfying intellectual life, do you interact with your intellectual peers, or do you have children and suffer in silent isolation with clumps of oatmeal in your hair. Decisions decisions! Do you start a family and enjoy the richness of parenting or do you die alone, eaten by your cats in an economy apartment surrounded by your college degrees and books?

Men don't have to choose. Men are never put in that position to be judged either way. Not on this. And so they can hold their pee pees in hand and moan about the state of the world today, but it is painfully clear to me that they fail miserably in addressing the real issues here.

They are not addressing how we value and appreciate our care givers of any gender, our parents of any gender--because all that is mere wommern's work and not worthy of notice, unless of course it isn't getting done.

Being kind to animals is an act of nurturing that is also traditionally associated with the wommerns, and so that is automatically poo-pooed as a sign of the feminization of society. Surely the end is upon us now that the seventh seal has been broken in a women's studies class.

Personally I wish their mothers would come back and slap them silly for being such boneheads.

Now enjoy this bit o' male wisdom from the south: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8buf7CmOPo

And to all you good men out there--don't follow the examples set in the story recounted by I.M.

A man who can nurture animals or children is infinitely interesting and appreciated. A man who appreciates good women as peers, is also infinitely interesting and appreciated. You don't have to cut your nuts off to be nurturing to animals or children. You only have to be confident about yourself. There is no shame in being kind and compassionate.

Seeing Eye Chick said...

Dr Jay does a lot of great things for people everyday in a very screwed up world. Both he and the author of this blog are excellent people.

And yes Dr Jay is right, Universal Misogyny is a common theme, and it comes from the Old Testament and the New Testament. There is a reason those traditions are referred to as Abrahamic--they each have a common origin.