Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Virginia! Motto: Where The Past Meets...Uh...Another Past

Well, we see governor Bob (Wimminz, stay home and birth 'dem babies) McDonnell of Virginia has brought back Confederate History month and we are here to tell you it's not a minute too soon. Now, regular reader(s) of this blog may have thought life wasn't the chaotic drizzle of random chance slowly dissolving the promise of their futures into a morass of fleeting probabilities thin as the wings of a mean may remember that we are sons of the south ourselves having been brought into to this world in the great state of Tennessee and as such have always had a soft spot in our hearts for Hominy grits with biscuits and honey...umm...we mean a soft spot in out hearts for the Bubbas. Or maybe in our heads.

No matter because the Bubbas are the last ethnic group it's socially acceptable to be prejudiced against. Well, except for the homos. And immigrants. Come to think of it, there's still not much room in polite company for them East coast elitist latte drinkers. Especially if they're them college educated man hatin' lesbos. Boy, now there's a group of people we'd be better off if they moved right on out to Europe or someplace, be with their own kind and all. America for Americas we always say. What were we talking about?

Oh yeah, Confederate History Month. Look, darkies got their month. The wimmin got theirs, heck even those fairy poets get a month, so what's so wrong about giving Confederate Southern Americans a month?
Sen. A. Donald McEachin (D-Richmond) said he was "stunned" to learn of McDonnell's decision and even more stunned that the proclamation did not include any reference to slavery. "It's offensive,'' he said.
Oh. Yeah, well there is that. But look Donny boy this isn't about slavery. It's about tourism. don't you see that, boy?

Sons of Confederate Veterans representative Brandon Dorsey said the governor's stamp of approval would help the group publicize the month and aide tourism efforts in the state."Hey look, if you're a racist bigot with a third grade education there aren't too many places left where you can vacation and feel welcome. We're just filling a niche in the leisure market, that's all."

 "As I read it, this proclamation is more designed to get people to study the issue rather than simply being a tribute," Dorsey said. "We would like everyone in the state to honor the sacrifice of the brave men who went out and died in battle. At the very least, we'd like them to study why they went out and did it which was to protect the plantation class' right to cheap labor by owning humans. And I think the proclamation could be construed either way, one way that reminds us how the south belittled and dehumanized an entire race of people for profit, and another that reminds us how we in the south have held the country back since its inception. It's all about perspective people."

 Right. See, that's what you Yankees don't understand. It's all in how you look at it. Like when you were in high school and you were a football star. All the girls dug you and the whole world was at your feet. Now, twenty five years later you're working the night shift down at the Piggly Wiggly, your wife's fat and won't let you touch her and your kids hate you. But in your mind, your mind...

1 comment:

scripto said...

And a complementary set of shackles for our darker visitors.