Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know that the true measure of success is how quickly expectations are lowered to match circumstance...erm...we mean know that on occasion we like to treat you to the pensive musings of a particular overlord on the benefits of placing innocent living creatures at risk of meaningless injury and death in the pursuit of (no) profit. In that regard we would like to introduce you to  Jack Corey who is the chief (and only) lobbyist for overlords in Florida because he was the only one who would work for shiny objects. Mr. Corey has recently had his medication re-balanced and is here today to share some of what the voices in his head have been telling him about why the heartless cruelty helpless greyhounds are subjected to on a regular basis is really a good thing. Take it away overlord Corey:

Florida was the first state to officially sanction greyhound racing in 1931, and for almost 85 years it’s been an enjoyable source of entertainment for Floridians as well as visitors to our state.

Now, some of you who are less informed might have thought people went to Florida for the almost 2000 miles of coastline, or the beaches, or the temperate climate. Nope. All around the other states people would often ask "Where can we go when we want to see hapless greyhounds get injured and killed while we're losing the rent money? Oh we know. Florida!" It's right there in the travel brochures.

Just as important, greyhound racing track owners have made billions in revenue and made a big contribution to Florida’s economy over the years.

Wow, billions! Boy, we bet if you presented that in graphic format it would really be impressive. Wonder what that would look like?

 OK, so maybe not.

Greyhound tracks and other pari-mutuel facilities enjoy a state-created monopoly, meaning they aren’t forced to compete in the open marketplace. Tracks not only are protected from competition they have received hundreds of millions of dollars in tax benefits.

Well, by the looks of that graph they need all the help they can get, but here are our questions: If they're doing that poorly with protection from competition, what's the point of protection? And who is being protected? The overlords from the job market?

When attendance at greyhound tracks began to dip some years ago, the Florida Legislature gave track owners the right to offer card rooms to increase revenue. Florida voters later allowed facilities in Miami-Dade and Broward counties to add slot machines.

Right. We get that. Greyhound racing was in the tank so the state let the tracks open a new business rather than fold.

Those enhancements were added only because of the track owners’ continued commitment to their underlying business: greyhound racing.

OK, so you're saying in order to show their commitment to greyhound racing they created a whole new arena for gambling in the clubhouse away from the track that no one was coming to anyway? We don't think commitment means what you think it means.

Despite the promise to keep racing, many track owners now want the Legislature to allow them to get rid of greyhound racing while keeping the card rooms and slot machines. They want to create small casinos that will dot Florida’s landscape from Pensacola to Miami and everywhere in between. That’s despite the state’s constitutionally mandated prohibition of casino gaming, with the exception of Indian gaming controlled by the federal government.

Umm...maybe you haven't noticed but they already have the card rooms and slot machines so "create" has kind of already happened, know what we mean?

The Florida Greyhound Association, an organization of owners, trainers and breeders across the state, opposes such efforts. Clearly those small-business owners would be put out of business if millionaire track owners are allowed to end greyhound racing simply because casino gaming is the next pot of big money. 

Oooo. injecting a little class warfare in there. Those evil millionaires against the poor yeoman small business persons. Elitist scum care only about making money at their tracks, as opposed to the owners, trainers and breeders who are in it for the love of the sport and of the dogs. You can tell the depth of this love by the number of tracks that have opened in states that have banned betting on live racing.

Many of our members are multigeneration owners, trainers and breeders. They love their greyhounds — and love racing.

Apparently you never met Ronnie Williams, or Ursula O'Donnell, or James "Barney" O'Donnell, or Lance LaFreniere or Nancy Guimond, or, well let's just say you need to get out more, Mr. Corey.

Asking the Legislature to end greyhound racing, or as it’s called in Tallahassee “decoupling,” is wrong for several reasons. First, it gives Floridians no voice in deciding whether they want to convert pari-mutuel facilities into mini-casinos. 

Well, like we said Mr. Corey that's already happened, and as for giving the voters a voice, it sounds like they've already spoken.

Gross receipts at cardrooms across the state rose from $2.8 million in 2001-02 to $125 million 2010-11. The state’s 10 percent tax has risen right along with it. Meanwhile, the amount wagered on horses, dogs and jai alai has seen a steady decline, from $1.7 billion in 2001-02 to $883 million 2010-11.

Have you had your hearing tested recently? Just asking.

Secondly, track owners have been allowed to increase their profits with other gaming with greyhound racing serving as their core operation. 

OK, now we're beginning to think you just aren't paying attention Mr. Corey. Core operation? Dude, track owners are running away from racing faster than a republican runs from a fact checker.

Logically then, if there is no greyhound racing, why should these facilities be allowed to operate?

Oh! Oh! We know! We know! Because they are in business to make money and Honey, ain't no money in racin' dogs. Word up.

If track owners can’t succeed at greyhound racing, with a guarantee of a no-competition monopoly, they should simply surrender their pari-mutuel license to the state and give someone else the opportunity to make it a success.

Careful what you ask for there Mr. Corey. We're thinking there's more than a few track owners that would be more than happy to drop dog racing in someone else's lap and get on with the parts of their operation that can turn a profit.

Greyhound racing remains a viable form of entertainment in Florida.

Aww, Mr. Corey. You're so cute when your delusional.

The Sanford Orlando Kennel Club proves that point. With no other type of gaming, Sanford Orlando Kennel Club uses innovative marketing to make greyhound racing as popular as ever in Central Florida.

"[A]s popular as ever in Central Florida."  Which is to say not very popular at all, unless you count the homeless people who come into the clubhouse to get out of the rain.

It’s a model for the rest of the country. It just takes a desire to make greyhound racing work, and not undercut its success in order to convert tracks to casinos.

Darn straight Mr. Corey. All it takes is a desire and commitment to make greyhound racing successful. Just ask the folks in Iowa, right Noir?

Noir is a three year old female. She will need a home without cats or small dog.For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog know the ultimate outcome of desire is ennui...erm...we mean know that a few weeks ago we pointed out that the greyhound racing facility in Tucson, known formally as Death Camp For Greyhounds, or as the overlords refer to it, Tucson Greyhound Park, had been released from the onerous bonds of the state and allowed to freely soar into the welcoming embrace of the free market.

How'd that turn out Mr. Overlord sir?

Tucson Greyhound Park's faded aqua, pink and purple bleachers groaned not under the weight of excited racing junkies but with the wind as thunder rolled over the empty stadium. A faint recording crackled over the loudspeaker, enthusiastically welcoming a crowd that wasn't there. A black-and-white sign sat atop the betting counter: "Closed."

BOO YA!!! See what happens when pencil necked bureaucrats get out of the way and let small business thrive? Oh wait, "empty" and "closed," they aren't good, right?

Since the 1980s, the number of Arizona greyhound tracks has shrunken from five to one. But a new law allowing the reduction of live-racing days to 100 per year, from 200, could help the park stay open in the event of serious financial hardship.

OK, we're not financial experts or anything, but are you telling us that the way to to make your business successful is to cut your business in half? Please explain Mr. Tom Taylor, CEO and general manager of the Tucson park.

"It's there if we need it; it's like life insurance," said Taylor. "You never want to use it, but you want to have it. So if we just keep cutting back on greyhound racing here at the greyhound racing park, eventually we'll get to a point where we don't race enough to make some money. It's higher level business stuff. You probably wouldn't understand."

No no, we get it. The more you cut back on greyhound racing at the greyhound racing park, the more you improve your chance to make money. Sort of like golf, less is better in golf too.

Gary Guccione, the National Greyhound Association's executive director opposed the legislation. He's concerned about the impact. "Live racing is our bread and butter," he said. "Once you start cutting into that, who knows where it might stop?"

 Now, Mr. Guccione, Mr. Taylor just explained that. As you reduce greyhound racing days at the greyhound racing park, you eventually get to a point where you don't race enough and you can cover your costs, because when the track is closed you're not adding to your costs. So staying closed a lot is a sound business practice for greyhound racing parks.Get it?

Unless...OK we see your point Mr. Guccione. As you stay closed more and more, eventually you're closed for good, then to make money you might do something like tear down the track, maybe build a homeless shelter there or whatnot. Yeah, that is a point, but look on the bright side--there would be jobs at the homeless shelter. You would have an opportunity to, you know, make a positive contribution to society for a change, and that wouldn't be so bad, would it Sparky?

Sparky is getting more outgoing. He is a very sweet boy. He can be shy at first but warms up to his surroundings quickly. He loves to be petted. He is very playful for a nine year old. Sparky will make a wonderful pet. Sparky would do best in a home with at least one other dog since he is used to being around other dogs. He would do best in a home with someone who can show him a lot of attention since he loves to be petted. He would do well in a home with or without children. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Well, a week has gone by and we've been monitoring the overlord blog that promises to "counter the partial truths and outright lies of Grey2K." Time to reflect on what we've learned so far, to wit: Skechers is still in business, and don't adopt a greyhound from an adoption group that is against racing. Not quite sure what that has to do with the "outright lies of Grey2K," but we did come to the conclusion that the overlord who wrote about Skechers has way too much time on his or her hands and if he or she owns a Thesaurus, someone needs to take it away. Now.

So, we're officially bored. Moving on. It occurs to us that if you're an overlord you have to be feeling a little paranoid right now, and that's not good because paranoia can be a severe mental disorder. Therefore as a public service of the caring individuals here in the marbled halls of IM Central, we are going to use FHB this week to demonstrate to the overlords that their fears are unfounded, and while greyhound racing may not be the most popular way to exploit innocent living creatures for a profit, there is no vast conspiracy against them. So let's start in Arizona where the Tucson Greyhound Park was the scene of the must discussed Skechers ad.

Yesterday, the Arizona Committee on Natural Resources and Transportation voted unanimously in favor of phasing out dog racing in Arizona!

Um...well, look that's just a committee, it's not like the whole Senate voted or anything. Wait. What's that you say? The Senate did vote? And they passed the bill 28 -2?  Yeah, well, bad example. Oh, we know, let's go over to Iowa. They have twice as many tracks as Arizona so they must luuuvs them some greyhound racing.

The Council Bluffs Chamber of Commerce has announced its support of legislation that would lead to ending greyhound racing at tracks in Council Bluffs and Dubuque, Iowa.

 The Chamber of Commerce? Aren't they like the people who are all about business and stuff? Don't they realize what an opportunity they're throwing away here? What a profit center?

Senate Study Bill 1064, which would allow ending greyhound racing in Council Bluffs and Dubuque, would require the two casinos to pay a "relicensing fee" to the state totaling $10 million a year for seven years. Under the proposal, Horseshoe would pay $7.5 million annually and Dubuque's Mystique Greyhound Track would pay $2.5 million a year.

 Oh, so they're thinking they'll get more money if they don't have greyhound racing, huh? Well, a little harsh, sure but it's just business overlords. No need to take it personal or anything. Maybe they really like you, you know, individually and stuff. It's just your business they think is a loser. Come on, cheer up. Let's head to Florida, the center of greyhound racing in the United States. You're bound to get a warm welcome there.

Senate Bill 382 cleared the Regulated Industries Committee on a 6-4 vote. The measure, by Sen. Maria Sachs, D-Delray Beach, would allow dog tracks to discontinue greyhound racing while maintaining their gaming licenses.

 Hmm...so, on the bright side we've at least shown that the overlords do not suffer from paranoia because people really are out to get them. Glad we were able to help, right Rio Dude?

 Rio Dude gets along well with the other dogs in the home. He is good at giving them their space. He lies on his back and wants his belly rubbed. He has learned to do the stairs. He does well in his crate. He has not had any exposure to men or children. Rio Dude would do well with other dogs in the home or as an only dog. He would be fine in a single family home but would probably also do well in a family. Would do well in a home with well-behaved children. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Echolalia Department here in the marbled  halls of IM Central. The Echolalia Department is a division of the Where Have We Heard This Before Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of Talk To The Hand, LLC.

This week we're continuing our theme of overlords serving up word salads about why they shouldn't have to join the workforce so let's visit West Virginia, the state with the highest mean altitude east of the Mississippi. Yeah. That makes sense. Lack of oxygen would certainly explain this:

A number of greyhound owners and breeders Monday urged legislators to continue greyhound racing in the state, disputing a state-funded study that found the industry is in sharp decline and survives in West Virginia only because purse funds are 95 percent subsidized from casino profits.

OK, now we're not business experts or anything, but it seems to us that if you have to have someone else give you 95% of what it takes to keep your business afloat, well, you you don't have a business--you have charity case.

“In a system that has made the state a tremendous amount of money over the years, and still employs a lot of employees, I don’t think you crumple it up and throw it away,” Steve Sarras, a Wheeling greyhound kennel owner and president of the state Kennel Owners Association, told members of the Joint Committee on Finance. 

We would agree with that. Sure casino revenue fell by $140 million last year, but they still pumped almost $50 million to the state so it's...oh wait...you were talking about greyhound racing weren't you? OK...um...this is a little embarrassing...see, your business actually draws money away from the state because the casinos are forced to support you instead of making those funds open to state taxes. Sorry to be the ones to tell you this guy, but you are actually a drain on the economy. Don't take it too hard though. We're sure you didn't intend to spend your life leeching off other people, that's just the way it worked out.

“The state’s making money on it. The tracks are making money on it,” greyhound breeder Patrick McMillon told legislators. “To have a report out saying we’re done … I see a lot of discrepancies in it.”

Oh we're with you there overlord McMillon. We see discrepancies too. Like the discrepancy between what you are saying and the fact that the subsidy required to continue placing helpless greyhound at risk of injury and death in the heartless pursuit of (no) profit has gone from 49% of the purse to 95% of the purse. It's not the state that's making money here Mr. McMillon, it's you because of the free ride you are getting on all that casino cash. Right Adam Steinberg, senior vice president for Spectrum Gaming Group?

In the 2013-14 budget year, greyhound racing provided $1.2 million of revenue to the state, while it cost the state Racing Commission $965,000 to supervise those races, Steinberg said. “This year, the cost to regulate will exceed the revenue to the state,”

OK, let's recap. The barbaric commodification of innocent living creatures brought the state $235,000 and next year will actually cost the state money while the casinos, even on a down year, chipped in $50 million. You know Mr. McMillon you're right, there is a pretty big discrepancy there.

Sarras countered that critics of greyhound racing misuse the word subsidy to create the impression that tax dollars are supporting the industry. “Subsidy’s a word you can throw around in the media if you want to get people upset about dog racing,” he said.

Hmmm...perhaps you have a point Mr. Sarras. Freeloading off the state is certainly going to be viewed in a less favorable light than freeloading off the casinos. Well, unless you happen to own a casino, then it's pretty much tomato tomahto.

Sarras said he believes greyhound racing benefits the Wheeling and Nitro casinos, allowing them to stand apart from the two dozen casinos in Ohio, Pennsylvania and Maryland, and said he believes they would suffer as freestanding casinos.

Hard to argue with that Mr. Sarras. We mean in Ohio and Pennsylvania all you can do is go to a casino whereas in West Virginia you can go to a casino with a greyhound track attached that everyone is ignoring. OK, that didn't come out right. You got a better way to say that Brody?

My foster mom says I am a “perfect” dog. I am very well mannered. I am calm, gentle and friendly. I will approach you for petting. I love to go for walks and I walk great on the leash. I am housebroken. I have met dogs my size, small dogs and even some kitties. I get along with all of them except for small white ones. I guess they remind me too much of my racing days and the electronic bunny. I had a big outing at the recent Pet Expo. I met all kinds of people and I loved them all so much. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Well another week is in the books and guess what? No tracks closed, no legislatures banned the heartless exploitation of innocent animals for profit...uh... greyhound racing, so that application to Walmart Greeter School can sit on the overlords' desks for at least one more week.

Ah, good times, good times. And they should be celebrated, right Jack PotBetting, aka, Jim Smith, aka Les Mutchie aka Michael Somers?

Greyhound Racing can steal a line from Mark Twain when he said "the reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated."

Yeah, well he also said, "The pains which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity towards it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further," but it has been a whole week, so do go on.

It seems that the impending demise of greyhound racing is a popular myth being propagated by hate groups that have a vested interest in promoting the story that greyhound racing is a dying sport and soon will be dead when actually the facts point to quite a different story.

Whoa! "Popular myth?" So you're saying hate groups convinced people to stop coming to greyhound tracks? Year after year after year. Made up those stories about Ron Williams? Cooked the books so it looked like greyhound racing was bleeding money and being propped up by the states with tracks? Bought off the people form Harrah's and the track owners in Florida so they'd try to get laws passed to get them out from under greyhound racing? Is that what you're saying? You related to Fox Mulder at all? Just asking.

Recently the Palm Beach Kennel Club located in West Palm Beach Florida hosted a Saturday afternoon racing crowd of over six thousand fans and counting bets from off track locations and a growing on-line community of greyhound enthusiasts there wagered over $700,000 on a single card of racing which is indeed the highest total of the current season and approaches the all time record handles dating back to the mid 1980's. So does that sound like Greyhound Racing is dead? I think not!

Um...that's real nice and all, but we wouldn't read too much into it. You can't link up with a nationally promoted, nationally televised horse race every weekend, you know? Not that we want to take anything away from you having a good day and all, but it's sort of like kissing your sister. While you're doing it, if you close your eyes you can pretend it's Angelina Jolie, but when you open them you're still staring at that big zit she has on her nose.

Now don't get me wrong Greyhound Racing has indeed retreated from its height of popularity during the 1980's when it was the seventh largest spectator sport in the United States.

Seventh largest spectator sport? Isn't that sort of like being the best ballerina in Boise?

During the last several years many greyhound tracks have suffered from a serious decline in business, much like bowling alleys and other once popular establishments, and as a result a large number of those facilities have closed their doors.

Oh no he dinnit! You dissin' bowling dude? Hey Bowling Proprietors Association of America, punk callin' you out. Whachu say?

“There’s no factor that has been more important in driving the growth and resurgence of bowling than our industry-wide focus on providing a great experience to our customers.  From the 71 million people who bowl every year to the more than 4,000 operators who are members of the BPAA to the major global brands that sponsor bowling – it is the industry’s ability to deliver a great experience to all of our stakeholders that has helped fuel our success,” said Executive Director Steve Johnson.

  Oh snap! Seventy one million people and 4,000 operators to your 6,000 fans and 20 some tracks. That's looking an awful lot like IN YOUR FACE BITCHEZ!! Overlords need to get some of their posse up in here. Hey Florida House of Representatives Budget and Consumer Affairs Subcommittee, help a brotha out, yo?

Florida is considered the nation‟s leader in greyhound racing. However, over the last ten years, the state‟s pari-mutuel wagering industry in general has experienced a 43.6 percent decline in handle, and total state revenue has decreased 54.6 percent; along with a 9.3 percent decrease in the number of racing days.

Not helping.  OK, Mr. aka whatever, looks like it's back to you.

These failed tracks and many of those still operating at far less than full capacity have been guilty of a failure to adapt to a changing demographic coupled with a much more competitive marketplace and those are the main ingredients responsible for the industry's decline.

Now you're on to something dude. You got a demographic changing from people who don't know about the barbaric exploitation, cruel injuries and senseless deaths suffered by greyhounds to a demographic that  is against the barbaric exploitation, cruel injuries and senseless deaths suffered by greyhounds. Got to change with the times, man. So what's your plan?

Track management must accept the majority of the blame for the failure of Greyhound Racing to thrive considering the fact that of all of the forms of gambling that exist, Greyhound Racing offers the most honest, most exciting and potentially the most profitable game to wager on in the world today. Greyhound Racing was saddled with being managed by a historically inept group of individuals who failed to recognize trends and whose response to those trends was mostly ineffective or in many cases nonexistent.

Uh, Mr. aka sir? That's the landlord you're talking to. The people who own the real estate. The people who came within a hair's breadth of kicking your freeloading butt into the street in Florida, Iowa and Arizona this year. We're thinking this is not the time to be speaking truth to power. Just saying.

Another negative factor in play currently impacting greyhound racing has been a nonstop public relations campaign against both racing and the greyhound breed itself being waged by a hate group that ironically has a name that is similar to one of the biggest frauds ever seen in this country, Y2k. This Y2k hate group has found a sweet spot and is basically operating a money machine that is supported by the unsuspecting victims that fund this fraudulent scheme with their donations in the name of saving the greyhounds.

Y2k is like Grey2K. Ha Ha Ha! That's pretty funny, except the last time we checked the year 2000 did come,  so we're not quite sure where you're going with that. And the public relations campaign? Are you saying Ron Williams was a publicity stunt? Or the fact that when you search for greyhound abuse history on Google you get 6,270 hits, along with a nice graphic showing the growth of stories since the industry began? Got to be  as serious conspiracy if the Grey2k folks were carrying out a nonstop public relations campaign before they were even born. You know Fox Mulder?

The talking points of this unscrupulous bunch focus on the so called inhumane treatment of the racing greyhounds which again is ironic because as anyone with even a slight knowledge of greyhound racing is aware that the greyhounds are quite possibility the most well cared for animal in the world.

Darn straight. And if you want proof, Mr. And Ms John Q. Public, the overloads have the proof. Just ask Ron Williams,  or the folks who give Viagra to the dogs, or Dr. Joe Robinson, or the trainers at the Mardi Gras track, or well, walk into a kennel yourself and look around. Oh wait, you can't.

Ryan Reed recently wrote a book about greyhounds and greyhound racing called BORN TO RUN and the book is written from the prospective of someone coming from the greyhound adoption side of the business. Ryan wrote "I quickly discovered that people had incredibly strong opinions about racing, but when asked how many racetracks or breeding farms they had been to the answer was almost always "None". I was struck by the fact that a person could have such strong feelings about something he had never seen for himself."

Umm...Mr. Ryan? That's because people can read the stories in the newspaper, and see the videos on the tee vee.  You need to get out more often.

Recently this Y2k hate group has backed off the animal abuse issues as it has become more and more obvious that the facts just don't support their story.

Erm...apparently the fellow who writes the Grey2K blog didn't get that memo, Mr. aka. He's still writing about abuse.

Their latest attacks on greyhound racing are based on the declining popularity of the sport which is actually true to a great extent however the sport is far from dead and recent advances and a general acceptance in the industry that the base product needs to be refined to appeal to a younger customer base indicate that just maybe greyhound racing is on the rebound.

Appeal to a younger crowd huh? Good luck with that.

It is quite possible that greyhound racing has yet to see its finest hour and the turnaround might be just getting underway.

Their finest hour is just getting underway? Aw, Audrey, you were born a little too soon. Just think, if you'd only been born a couple of years from now you could have participated in the finest hour. Or more likely you could have been born as a pet in the first place and not had had to risk your life for a couple of years first so some deadbeat losers could make their trailer payments. Ah, tomato tomahto, huh?. 

Audrey is a loving, playful, outgoing, friendly girl. She loves her tummy and ears to be rubbed and she has no problem locking her big brown eyes with yours to let you know that she trusts you. She is curious about everyone and everything that she sees. Audrey is like a puppy she is very energetic. She likes to sleep on her back, like playing dead. Her foster mom hasn’t caught her playing with toys, but she can be in the basement and she can hear Audrey playing with them. Audrey is a Second Chance at Life Dog from the Coldwater Prison Program. Audrey would do well in a working family home with well-mannered children, 8 and up. She is young and playful and would do well with another dog to keep her company, or as an only dog in a family that will exercise her often. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

And if you 'd like to know more about the good work the Second Chance for Life program is doing for the dogs, and the prisoners, go here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Hey, green shoots and stuff huh? Looks like the economy is improving a little if you can say going from apocalyptic ruin to bleak depression is an improvement. No wonder the Mittbot doesn't care about the poors...Happy days are here again.

Well, a rising tide floats all boats right? So even the overlords must be feeling hope growing like the brightening pink glow of the sun, heralding a new day. Or maybe what they're feeling is their feet getting wet, because their boat? A little leaky if you take our point.

No matter. The economy, like we said. Soon the rubes will be flocking back to the tracks and the long awaited renaissance of greyhound racing will have arrived. Then we'll be plugging those holes with dollar bills, right boys? But we have to get ready. We have to be prepared for the crowds that are about to be unleashed on us. Get it? Unleashed? See we're talking about dogs here, so leashes? Never mind. What's up Volusia county?

The Volusia County Council decided to hold off on deciding if they want a referendum on the question of slot machines in county pari-mutuels, places where betting is allowed.

Slots? OK, well yeah, slots are a thing, but we're interested in what is going to happen to the greyhound racing tracks. What's first on the agenda? Expand the parking lot? Build a bigger clubhouse?

Those in the greyhound business, like Todd Byers, says if tracks get slots then they could be out of a job. Byers heads the Daytona Beach Greyhound Association.

Or add more races. We forgot about add more races because...wait. Out of a job? How you figure that?

Daniel Francati, the general manager with the Daytona Beach Kennel Club and Poker Room said his company has no plans to end live greyhound racing at its track. Yet Byers thinks if slots are introduced, the track owners will have no other financial incentive to keep live racing.

  No financial incentive? What the heck does that mean? We're talking greyhound racing here man, greyhound racing! Greyhound racing is recognized as one of the nation's largest spectator sports by the The American Greyhound Track Operators Association. You need to get your head on straight. No financial incentive, what a load.

There's no question most of Florida's dog tracks are losing money on their greyhound races.It could be a lot worse for the tracks if not for the 4.7 million dollars in subsidies they get every year from Tallahassee.

 Oh, no way. No freakin' way. The greyhound industry pays its own way, man. Just ask them. There's got to be some kind of problem with the way the system operates in Florida, some glitch or bureaucratic mess up. There's profits out there, we just know it. Oh, we've got it, let's go look at another state. A state where the system is operating efficiently. How about Arizona?

Arizona is one step closer to ending greyhound racing. Last week saw the passage of House Bill 2536,which will significantly reduce the number of days that live greyhound racing is required for a track to also operate simulcast betting.

There. See what happens when you have cooperation between the industry and government. You get mutually beneficial...wait, what? In the Senate you say? Oh. Uh...well. Hey, how about Iowa? In Iowa the gambling industry tried to bribe the state to end greyhound racing, but the heroes in the legislature resisted them, realizing what a good deal they had going for the citizens of the Hawkeye state by having greyhound racing. Now there's a system that's got to be operating on all cylinders.

A renewed $70 million battle to allow casinos to end greyhound racing moved ahead Wednesday in the Iowa Senate.

Dang. OK Pat we give up. You got anything?

Pat C Heya is a very happy, affectionate little girl. She loves to go for walks and play with her stuffies. She is your typical “couch potato.” She does well in her crate. She is friendly with strangers. Pat C Heya would do well as an only dog or with others. She would do well in a single-family home or a family. She has not had any exposure to children. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will remember the soft kiss of youthful innocence now become the cold slap of collapsing dreams, leaving only the sharp pain of lost hope...erm...we mean will remember that we have spent a considerable amount of pixels regaling you with the imaginative stylings of the overlords in Iowa as they set out on their admittedly Quixotic quest to bring the heartless commodification, inflicting meaningless injury and death on innocent living creatures in the futile pursuit of (no) profit out of the black underworld of cruelty and into the mainstream.

Now, in the interest of being fair and balanced (which we are really not interested in) we thought we would return to the Hawkeye state now that the most current season of greyhound abuse has ended and see what the results are, and by results we mean how much dough did the overlords take in, not how many greyhounds were needlessly injured and killed because you know, the safety of the dogs is the highest concern and they receive only the finest care so we won't even bother to tell you that at Bluffs Run Greyhound Park and Dubuque Greyhound Park in Iowa, there were 797 greyhound injuries reported between January 2008 through May 2015. During the same period, 96 dogs died or were euthanized because you know, it's not relevant. Besides the overlords are now operating the track on their own dime. Well, technically it's the money the casinos gave them to go away, but let's not quibble about the details. So what's the bottom line Iowa Greyhound Park Racing Director Brian Carpenter sir?

Despite a 33 percent decline in total wagering for the year, Carpenter said he believes the park's first year under new ownership was a success.

Excuse us a minute there overlord Carpenter, but it seems calling the loss of a third of your business in a year a success is setting the bar kind of low, don't you think?

"There were a lot of people who thought we wouldn't open up at all, and once we did, there were a lot of people who thought we wouldn't make it through the year," Carpenter said of the first year in which racing at the former Dubuque Greyhound Park was run by the Iowa Greyhound Association.

Oh. Well, if those are your criteria, umm, congratulations on uh, mmm, surviving the year?

Carpenter noted that the average per-session handle, or amount wagered, for 2015 was nearly 16 percent higher than the previous year. According to figures he provided, an average of $35,771 was wagered per racing session in 2015, compared to $30,896 in 2014.

OK wait a minute. You have a full day of racing and you take in a little less that $36k for that, then you have to pay all your bills, plus give out the winnings? Man, making it through the year was a success.

Iowa Greyhound Park offered fewer racing sessions per week this year than previous years, leading to the sharp drop in total wagering activity.

You mean you only took in around $36k per session and you had less sessions which means you didn't even bring in as much money as you would have if you'd had a full schedule? OK we're beginning to see why you think surviving the year was a success.

Mystique Casino officials were equally pleased with the first year of the new arrangement, saying cutting ties with greyhound racing has helped bolster the casino's bottom line. "Am I happy with the arrangement? I can definitely say yes because it gave (Iowa Greyhound Association) a chance to continue to race and it gives us some financial respite from the purse supplements," said Mystique CEO Jesus Aviles. "I think it was a win-win."

Hey come on there Mr. Aviles, that's a little harsh don't you think? Sure it was a win for you to dump that cash sucking part of your business, but we'd hardly call it a win for the overlords. We mean, $36k? They probably got more than that from you before lunch back in the day, don't you think?

"I can tell you that the efficiencies we have gained (through the elimination of greyhound racing) have helped us keep our employees and avoid taking any austerity measures," Aviles said.

Whoa. Hang on there Mr. Aviles. Please don't use the words "elimination" and "greyhound racing" in the same sentence. At least not when the overlords can hear you, right Bunko?

I am a very gentle and calm boy. I bark at my reflection when I see it in the window because I am so silly I don’t realize it’s just me. My foster parents think it’s funny and cute. I love to get attention. I am a little shy at first but not overly so and I get over it quickly. I am housebroken. I know how to go up and down the stairs. I get along great with dogs my own size. I have not seen any small dogs or cats yet. My foster mom is taking me to meet her friend’s kitties this week to see how I do so I will keep everybody posted. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will recognize the flash of awareness that leads the low rumble of futility drawing ever closer...erm...we mean will recognize the name Rory Goree, long time friend of the blog, knockabout scientist and High Commissioner of the Arizona Department of Racing, donut procurement division. Well, it seems Mr. Goree has a problem. No not that problem. That's not as much a problem as a character fault. Mr. Goree's problem is that in the past few months he has  penned at least two  columns using evidenced based logic--if by evidenced based logic you mean innuendo, unsubstantiated claims and sweeping generalizations--challenging the animal rights wackos to come clean and admit they aren't really in it for the dogs, but just want to tap into some of the sweet, sweet muneez that swirls around greyhound rescue. This brings up an interesting point. Mr. Goree seems to believe that there is a lot of cash around when it comes to greyhound rescue, but apparently, there's no filthy lucre when it comes to racing itself. Now, if we were cynics we might come to the conclusion that Mr. Goree is just jealous that people are willing to spend buckets o' dollars to save innocent living creatures trapped in the clutches of a barbarous, heartless industry, but when it comes to dropping some of those Benjamins on the overlords themselves...not so much. If we were cynics we might believe that. Just spit-balling here.

But back to our story. So the Gorster throws down the gauntlet to the animal rights wackos and what response does he get? Bupkus. Nada. Crickets man. Now, in our defense, Mr. G, we must point out that we did respond to your first missive. OK, we missed the second because we have lives. Our bad. Well, Rory Goree may be a lot of things, but he is not a person you can just ignore, so once again he has taken to the interoobz to excoriate and just generally dismantle those who think that by saving greyhounds they are actually saving greyhounds.

If you listen to the “humane advocate protectors” (aka the ones who are constantly collecting money and dolling out paychecks, travelling around the world, handing out awards, enjoying perks) you would think they have struck the death blow to greyhound racing in one particular state.

Which "particular state" are you referring to there Mr. Goree? Iowa? Arizona?  You're going to have to be a little more specific. Maybe you mean Colorado where they don't have any operating tracks left, but they outlawed greyhound racing anyway, just to make sure it didn't come back.

If you are anti-greyhound racing and have surrendered your hard earned cash to the “humane advocate protectors” hopefully you realize it is most likely spent to fund personal hobby excursions, travel in style, wine & dine and keep files more extensive than the NSA on anyone and everyone. However you may be shocked to know they actively supported a bill that expands the ability of greyhound racing revenue stream. And now that the bill they supported which expands the ability of greyhound racing to make money the “humane advocate protectors” have now informed the world that this law must be removed. (insert donation button here???)

 Well, all we can say is given the results, they must be wining and dining the right people, but that phrase "actively supported a bill that expands the ability of greyhound racing revenue stream" seems to be missing a word or two. The Bill expands the ability of (the) greyhound racing revenue stream to do what? Maybe that's why the “humane advocate protectors” want the Bill removed: it makes no grammatical sense. By the way, have you trademarked “humane advocate protectors” yet? It's sure to catch on just like Crystal Pepsi.

I’ve been crisscrossing the country the last few weeks (on my own dime) and have heard those in the inner circle of the “humane advocate protectors” admit that particular individuals are only in it for the paycheck and have done nothing to help the anti-greyhound racing movement.

OK. Little tip for you G.  You are one of the most recognizable overlords around. When you were United Greyhound Racing Director of Welfare and Advocacy you personally oversaw the disappearance of 140 greyhounds, the cruelty scandal at TGP and the heatstroke deaths of at least eight dogs during transport. If you think the “humane advocate protectors” are going to take you into their "inner circle" we'd like to talk to you about a great business idea we have--starting a strip club in Riyadh. Dude, there isn't even a bar in that town! Plum ripe for the picking man, that's all we're saying.

Time for those who truly are against greyhound racing to stop bankrolling the “humane advocate protectors” gravy train and find new leadership? If the liars have been exposed and they have, why keep supporting them? The time has come that you reclaim the donations and either give it to local greyhound adoption programs or just continue supporting those wasting money on salaries & lobbyists, generating paperwork, expense accounts and maintaining secret files Till that day, many in the greyhound industry would like to give a big thank you to the “humane advocate protectors” who helped support and pass legislation that expands the ability of greyhound racing to make money and to those of you who support them – THANK YOU. The greyhound racing community couldn’t have done it without you!

 Now, admittedly we tend to indulge in the occasional adult beverage here in the marbled halls of IM Central so it's entirely possible that "legislation that expands the ability of greyhound racing to make money" slipped by us, but given the fact that greyhound racing is going down faster than hot dogs at a Nathan's Famous contest, we think we would have noticed a Bill that improved life for the overlords. What do you think, Ambrosia? Looks like it's the G man who has some "splainin'" to do, huh?

Hoarders! Who can't get enough of that show. Ambrosia's secretly been watching the show when her foster family is out! Collecting treasures is her retirement hobby! Anything left in reach; socks, pants and even towels will end up in bed with her. (If we can just teach her how to use the washing machine!). When questioned on the matter, Ambrosia charms you with her toothy smile, and you can't be mad at her, after all no harm done. She has been doing great with her foster siblings and with house rules. Who needs help picking up around the house? Come meet Ambrosia! For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Boy howdy, nothing kicks over the bee hive for the overlords faster than the threat of having to get a job. Last week we told you how the bus of reality had finally run over the owners of Twin River gambling parlor and greyhound track enough times that they had decided to get out of the animal exploitation business. And who could blame them? Every race they ran cost them and the state money, no one was coming to the track anyway, and even those few who did come didn't bet because they were basically homeless people wondering if there were any empty crates in the kennel. It was the only fiscally sound thing to do, right?

Wrong.

The RI Greyhound Owners Association (RIGOA) has requested a Department of Business Regulation (DBR) hearing to challenge Twin River’s decision to cancel its dog racing season after Aug. 8. In a letter hand delivered to DBR because he couldn't afford a stamp, attorney Joseph Cavanagh Jr. said RIGOA is “under contract with the owner of Twin River to conduct greyhound racing (and) will suffer immediate loss of trailer payments upon the suspension of racing.

“Greyhound racing,” the letter notes, “has a significant impact on the state of Rhode Island. Sure it's a negative impact, but is it our fault exploiting innocent animals isn't the draw it used to be?"

A written statement from RIGOA issued at the same time Cavanagh’s letter was released asserted that, “greyhound racing is integral in differentiating Twin River from neighboring casinos and tracks. The casinos are clean and well lighted and the other tracks are closed. Closing Twin Rivers will make us just like them. Well, except for the clean and well lighted part."

Wow. Contracts and differential integrals. Sounds like they might have a pretty strong case. We bet tension will be high when the hearing is finally held.

The Department of Business Regulation has denied a bid by the kennel owners at Twin River for a hearing on the looming suspension of live dog racing at the Lincoln track and slot parlor on Aug. 8.

The reason: Lack of the brains god gave a wood chip.

In a letter that went out on Friday, DBR Director A. Michael Marques advised the Rhode Island Greyhound Owners Association that 'you are ugly and nobody likes you."

Well, that's pretty clear. Man, the greyhound exploitation industry is really in bad shape. We can't imagine anyone who would be stupid enough to get involved in a business so ill thought of and so unprofitable, can you Stockton?

What's that you say, Dish Network?

Stockton is very large and playful, but he is a gentle giant with smaller children. He is very affectionate. He will follow you around the house. He is a big leaner and will wrap himself around you. He loves to play with toys. Stockton would do well in a working family home with well-mannered children. He is good with other larger dogs (no small dogs please), and would probably be fine as an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Friday Hound Blogging

The overlords are fond of telling us that even though greyhound racing is a business, because of its unique nature, they continually put the needs of the units...er...the dogs above those of profit. Well, we all know how that's working out, but it isn't often we get to see how the actual business end of the industry works. Turns out it works about as well as you'd expect for a system that relies on the exploitation of innocent animals and the...um...er...lack of sophistication of the patrons.

First up: the tracks. Seems they aren't exactly profit centers.

The License Commission is delaying a vote on revoking Wonderland Greyhound Park's liquor and other licenses as long as track management honors its plan to pay off overdue taxes.
Wonderland President Richard Dalton said the plan provides for the track to initially pay $175,000 toward an $800,000 overdue property tax and water charge bill and then pay $5,000 a month to erase the debt. "We hope to improve on that," Dalton said Friday. "This Friday we're starting our combination Flea Market and Swap Fair. Come on out and dicker. No reasonable offer refused because we don't want to go to jail."

What, no bake sale? Maybe things are better for the individual entrepreneurs.

The greyhound breeding business of a retired Internal Revenue Service auditor does not qualify for business deductions, according to a US tax court. Ralph Whitecavage, an IRS auditor in Arizona for 21 years, was told by judge Michael Thornton that he was liable for thousands in dollars of understated tax. "I always thought IRS Agents didn't have to pay taxes," Whitecavage said. "It's like a perk, you know?"

The judge also criticised Whitecavage's treatment of the dogs, of whom he 'lost' 20 greyhounds because of bad training methods by the trainers in the racing kennels. "I thought you could deduct stock loss," Whitecavage told reporters.

Yeah. Isn't that like depreciation due to death or something? Well, at least the customers are bound to win occasionally.

A circuit judge has ordered Macon County Greyhound Park, which operates the VictoryLand dog track in Shorter, to pay $10 million to a woman who sued the park in May 2006 in a dispute over an electronic bingo game jackpot. "Do you know how many two dollar bets that is?" said Milton McGregor, majority owner of the greyhound park. "We'll be paying that off until the second coming."

According to court documents, Knowles, who was an employee at VictoryLand, was playing an electronic bingo game there on May 2, 2006. She said she hit a jackpot on the machine worth $41.8 million. Knowles said two greyhound park employees approached her and told her the jackpot was "not a valid win." They said the machine had malfunctioned. "And by 'malfunctioned' they mean it paid out," Knowles told reporters after the hearing.

Looks like bingo machines aren't the only thing that's malfunctioning, huh moonlight?

Although Moonlight is a senior, she acts like she’s 4. She wants to cuddle with you; she puts her front paws on you. She’s very friendly and outgoing. She’s priceless and super sweet. Her one ear flips up; she’s so cute. Moonlight would do fine with a working family with well-mannered children and she would be fine as a second dog or as the only dog. She was in a home for seven years with another greyhound. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will remember the sweet birds of youth chirping in the budding trees of hope caressed by the warm breezes of promise, which have now become skeleton like branches, dark against an overcast sky, empty, except for the single black raven that sits silently watching, like death...erm...we mean will remember that we have often discoursed on the relative merits of the overlord's overseers down in the sunshine state and after extensive analysis, study and reflection have generally drawn the conclusion that basically, they suck gravel through a straw. They are to efficiency as stoplights are to space exploration. They are to effectiveness as waterfalls are to windmills. They are to commitment as helicopters are to hermit crabs. They are...well, you get the point. And in spite of the fact that it has become general knowledge that the office housing the aforementioned regulating body is nothing more than a warehouse for idiots, they don't seem to mind.

"You can't have individuals who have been implicated in apparent cases of Greyhound neglect or Greyhound cruelty or serious cases of Greyhound drug positives like cocaine continue to work in this industry for months or years before action is taken on their case," said Theil who heads Grey2K USA, a Greyhound protection organization. 

 Oh, Mr. Theil, you're so cute when expect results. Of course you can have individuals who have been implicated in apparent cases of Greyhound neglect or Greyhound cruelty or serious cases of Greyhound drug positives like cocaine continue to work in this industry for months or years before action is taken on their case. This is Florida we're talking about. You must be thinking about some place where people actually do the job they are hired to do. 

The Contact 5 Investigators discovered as of July 2014, Florida’s Division of Pari-Mutuel wagering, which oversees dog and horse racing in Florida, had yet to resolve approximately 400 complaints that had been lodged against people who do work at the tracks A closer analysis shows nearly 20% of those complaints had been lingering for over one year.

 OK, you have to look at this from the regulator's point of view. They figure the longer it takes them to actually get out of the break room and go do their jobs, the more likely it is the person they are supposed to be investigating will die of old age, thus saving them time and the taxpayers money. It's advanced regulatory agency management theory. You wouldn't understand.

As for the state’s delays, a spokesperson for the FL Department of Business and Professional Regulation writes, "Although cases appear similar in nature, each case can vary drastically based on the totality of factors involved."

When asked to clarify what a "totality of factors" means the spokesperson said, "Well, it's like this: some folks abuse greyhounds by giving them drugs, some abuse greyhounds by not seeing they get proper medical care, some abuse greyhounds just in the basic way they treat them, and some abuse greyhounds by racing them until they are used up, then tossing them out like yesterday's newspaper. You got any idea how hard it is to keep all that straight?"

Oh we hear you FL Department of Business and Professional Regulation spokesperson, we really do. Maybe if you were to look for some sort of common denominator in all these cases you might be able to, you know,  get a handle on things. Of course, actually leaving your office and going into the field to investigate these incidents would help too. Just spitballing here.

In Robert Dawson's 30-year career as a Greyhound trainer, he's been cited by the state more than a dozen times.  Most in involved issues with dog medication and drug violations. This past January, Robert Dawson became the subject of yet another state investigation. This time, one of his dogs tested positive for procaine- a non-performance enhancing drug. While both his cases remain under investigation, Dawson continues his work with the dogs.

 Now why would we want to deprive the dogs of such an obviously devoted and loving caregiver such as Mr. Dawson just because of some unsubstantiated allegations, huh? Ever hear of innocent until proven guilty, or in Mr. Dawson's case innocent until he retires or dies, but the point is, we all know the overlords only got into the wholesale exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit because of their love of the breed, and to deprive Mr. Dawson contact with his beloved greyhounds would be a punishment many times more severe than any the FL Department of Business and Professional Regulation could dish out. Well, if they actually dished out punishments that is, but let's not quibble over details right now.

His attorney, Jennifer Rosenblum, sent us a copy of an email she sent to other media publications. It states in part, "As a trainer, Mr. Dawson is the person who is the absolute insurer of each Greyhound….and as absolute insurer, will receive notice of whatever alleged violation occurs, whether or not it has to do with anything he actually allegedly did.”

See? There's your answer right there. Just because Mr. Dawson's dogs are strung out on drugs doesn't mean he had anything to do with it. Sure it has happened a dozen or so time whenever he was around but it could be anybody. Personally, we blame Obama. What about you Addy?

I am a very playful, curious and loving girl. I love to give kisses. I love to run and play in the yard and play with my toys. I am housebroken. I get along with dogs of all sizes and am cat friendly. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here. 

Friday Hound Blogging

Occasionally we here at IM Central hear rumblings from the patsies...er...from the suckers...umm...the patrons...yeah...the patrons of greyhound racing. OK, so sometimes the patrons of greyhound racing express concern that the sport may be...how do you say...less than on the up and up? This concerns them because the two dollar bets they make constitute a substantial part of their monthly income and can make the difference between Dinty Moore Canned Beef Stew and Friskies for dinner.

So, as you may imagine, a great sigh of relief went through the trailer park class when the industry announced that the latest dog drugging scandal would not be covered up.

The chairman of the Irish Greyhound Board, Paschal Taggart, insisted its decision to suppress the publication of two positive EPO findings were in the interests of the greyhound industry.

"This is an honest and well run sport," Mr. Taggart explained. "So when we have another drugging incident if we told everyone it would sully our reputation. That's not a cover-up. That's just good business sense"

The use of drugs in the industry has long caused controversy. Some 95 positive findings were published in 2004, compared to 12 in the horse racing industry. "Yeah, well dogs are smaller," explained Mr. Taggart.

One of the trainers, Paul Hennessy, is regarded as the most successful trainer in the country. "And that has nothing to do with drugs," said Mr. Hennessy's lawyer. Two dogs, one trained by Mr. Hennessy, the other by John Kiely, tested positive for EPO. The cases came before the board in November. The trainers admitted EPO was administered to the greyhounds.

"Look. We're not saying the dogs aren't all drugged up, we're just saying we don't like to talk about it," Mr. Taggert said. "Let's stick to the point here."

The greyhound industry has received 70 million in state aid in recent years, and has grown into a significant business with an annual tote income of over 50 million. When asked why a "significant business" still requires state support, Mr. Taggert said he wasn't sure, but he was aware of a rise in the prices of performance enhancing drugs. "That adds to our overhead costs you know."

So, Tyler, does EPO give you the munchies, or just make you think the police are following you?


Dewey Strategy aka Tyler is a very sweet, loving, happy, beautiful and affectionate boy. He is a “Velcro” dog in all aspects, as he loves people.Tyler is not your “stereo-typical” couch potato Greyhound. He is more like a Lab puppy who is house broken and doesn’t shed. Tyler is full of loveable energy and is really quite comical to be around. He loves to play and especially loves to wrestle, which is not typical of a Greyhound. He’s not afraid of any thing.Toys…… Tyler has de-squeaked every squeak toy that has been brought into the house. He plays with them relentlessly until they stop squeaking. And while he’s in the process of de-squeaking them, it’s quite a show.The first thing he does in the morning, is he manages to sneak the whole upper half of his body up onto the foster moms bed and then bites at her hands and feet under the covers until she gets up and feeds him. This is just one of his many kooky character traits.Now that he has filled out and his coat a product of good diet, he is an absolutely beautiful Greyhound, perfectly marked, strong and handsome. And if you’re looking for a house broken puppy, he’s your dog! For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Windy City Sniper Update: Sniper is adopted! On January 28, 2006 Sniper left the foster program and settled in on her permanent couch in Essex, Ontario Canada. When asked what prompted her to settle outside the United States she said she hadn’t really made up her mind until she saw President Bush’s State of The Union Address. “I’ve been around wankers all my working life,” she said. “I don’t need to put up with them when I’m retired too.”

Friday Hound Blogging

Well you tree hugging, Birkenstock wearing, green tea drinking animal rights wackos have really stepped in it now. Oh yeah, you've been kicking the overlords around pretty good these last few months, but that's about to come to a screeching halt. You are about to furnish the butt for a beating, about to have a giant economy size can o' whupass opened up on your scrawny fair trade coffee sipping behind. You have gone and made Gary Guccione go down to the local library so he could use their computers to write another letter to the editor. When are you people going to learn?

The May 6 letter from Grey2K activist Caryn Wood makes false claims about greyhound racing and is misleading to The Capital-Journal’s readers.

Now it would be bad enough if this Wood wacko just made false claims that weren't misleading, but oh no, she had to go for the  whole enchilada and make claims that were both false and misleading. Have these people no shame? Enlighten us Mr. Guccione.

The majority of states where greyhound racing is prohibited didn’t even have live racing when the bans were imposed.

Uh...Mr. G? Just a bit of strategical advice. When greyhound racing is so unpopular states outlaw it even when it's not around, that's probably not the strongest opening to your argument. Just a thought.

Recent attempts by Grey2K to eliminate live racing in Florida have failed.

Oh yeah baby! It's on. How you like us now you vegan, natural fabric PETArds? Think you can hold back one of the most dynamic and exciting sports in the country? Think you can keep people form flocking to greyhound tracks just because you think the dogs have a right not to be exploited, injured and killed for a few measly bucks? No way.  We're back and we're growing, right Victoryland Greyhound Track Chief Operating Officer Lewis Benefield?

The financially troubled VictoryLand in Shorter is ending live dog racing, officials said Tuesday. Chief Operating Officer Lewis Benefield said electronic bingo games subsidized live greyhound racing for many years, and live races are no longer feasible now that bingo is shut down.

BOOYAH! Lookout baseball, there's a new national pastime...wait, what?

Benefield said electronic bingo games subsidized live greyhound racing for many years, and live races are no longer feasible now that bingo is shut down.

Greyhound racing has to be subsidized to survive?  How can this be? Maybe it's just that one track. It can't be because the whole industry is going belly up and any business person with an IQ higher than that of a sugar cube knows it's time to decouple from the losers who still think people are going to pay good money to watch the dogs risk their lives to keep a bunch of soulless wastes of protein out of the labor market.

Yeah. That's got to be it. We bet if you look at another state you'll see the industry alive and prospering.

House Speaker Rick Thompson has launched a statewide TV ad and website targeting Tomblin. The Democrat focuses on the greyhound breeding business run by Tomblin's mother, which regularly benefits from state government funding.

Oh, no see that's just some biased reporting right there.  Tomblin's not subsidizing greyhound racing, he's subsidizing his momma, right Matty?

Matty is pretty easy going. She is very mellow for a young dog. She is curious and will follow you everywhere. She is a real Velcro dog. She is learning to play with toys. Matty would do well in a working family home with well-mannered children, 8 and up. She is good with other dogs and would probably be fine as an only dog. She would do best in a home with a fenced yard because she is still learning her leash manners. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

(Not) Friday Hound Blogging

Going to be out and about tomorrow performing community service...erm...service to the community, so as not to disappoint our many skinny dog fans we bring you an FHB prequel.

Occasionally we have discoursed on the business acumen of the overlords. You see, it takes a special breed of person to see investment opportunity where others see innocent living creatures. Most business opportunities include analysis of risks and opportunities, potential for return on investment, planning, stuff like that. But for the overlords, the risk is on the greyhounds (Hey, how many CEO's are killed when the company's profits don't measure up) so this makes the exploitation business the classic win win scenario. Well, if you aren't a greyhound that is. And planning? Phffft. How many times have the overlords told us the units "love to run?" Greyhound racing. It's like a license to make money.

THE NSW Government has launched a $7.5 million financial assistance package for the horse and greyhound racing industries with $1 million going to the harness racing industry and $500,000 to greyhound racing, which has also lost revenue.

Oh. Well...uh...yeah...say, what about this: It's a temporary situation. All we have to do is get people interested in unit exploitation again and the money will start flying around like feces in a money cage. Right Mr Carney?

The owner of the Raynham-Taunton Greyhound Park promised yesterday to make a strong bid to bring a resort casino to his 100-acre property and vowed to use local backers to make it happen.

Right. Pretty soon the rubes will be lining up at the betting windows again with their two dollars...wait...what did he say?

In an interview, Carney declined to say who he expects to recruit as local investors. But he said the park's location, near Interstate 495 and Route 24, is superior to the known competitors for a casino license in Southeastern Massachusetts.

Casino...hmm....OK we see your plan, you lure gamblers in with slots and stuff, then when they see how exciting and addictive it is to bet two dollars on the units, they give up the tables for the bleachers. Brilliant!

Spurred by the three-month success of high stakes poker, the Naples-Fort Myers Greyhound Track's poker room will be getting bigger in October. "Our business has probably doubled," said card room manager Cindy Fra.

But, but, what about the dogs? Wasn't this supposed to be about helping the overlords maintain the high degree of care and training their investment required?

"Last fall, it was dead in here on Sunday afternoons," Fra said. "Not anymore. People can now come in, play cards and watch the games."

Jason Ellis, a 24-year-old poker player from Naples, said while the stakes still aren't as high as they are in Las Vegas, the play is on the same level. "I just wish they'd do something about that dog pound or whatever it is out back. All that barking interferes with my concentration."

Yeah...OK...we"ll get right on that. Hey, keep it down will you, Pepper? People are trying to gamble here.

Pepper is confident, outgoing, energetic, intelligent, playful, well-mannered, and very affectionate and lovable. She will approach you for pets and gives you the come hither look. She is very flexible and can curl up into a safety pin position. She enjoys playing with toys and will throw them in the air and chase them around the house. Although she is 8 years old, she doesn’t act like a senior. While she has the white muzzle, she acts more like an active 4 year old. Pepper would be good in a home with other dogs of all sizes or as an only dog. She would be good in a working family home with well-mannered children, 5 and up. She needs a home with a yard where she can run or with someone that will exercise her regularly. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Ah, the first FHB of the new year and what better way to start off  than with a visit to two of our favorite people, the Ever Delusional Gary Guccione, and Well Known Animal Rights Wacko Caryn Wood.

Now, for those of you watching at home, here's how it goes, a newspaper or tee vee station somewhere will run a story about greyhounds, most always something along the lines of greyhounds living in horrific conditions, or how greyhounds are regularly injured and killed, or how people who have souls are so aghast at the whole enterprise that even those as clueless as state legislators realize they've got to get out of the greyhound racing business.

In other words, for the overlords business as usual.

Now, this will prompt WKARW Caryn to pen a missive to the aforementioned newspaper or tee vee station in which she points out that you sort of have to expect this sort of thing is going to happen when living, breathing sentient creatures like, say for instance greyhounds are reduced to commodities whose only value is their ability to earn a couple of bucks for a class of so called people so bereft of compassion they make a black widow spider look like Mother Theresa.

So the letter gets published and eventually makes its way to overlord headquarters where one of the two staffers who can read brings it to the Ever Delusional Mr. Guccione. After it is explained to him that the author is showing greyhound racing in a less than positive light, he digs through his desk looking for the rumpled copy of talking points, he calls Things To Say When The Truth Gets Out which he usually finds under the self improvement CDs he listens to like "Embark on a Fascinating Career as a Parking Lot Attendant," or "From Busboy to Dishwasher: Climbing the Ladder of Success in the Restaurant Industry," grabs his dictionary and the Word-a-Day calendar and heads down to the local library to use their computers.

Which brings us to his latest effort which we reproduce for you below in its entirety:

A letter from Caryn Wood, board member of GREY2K USA, about greyhound racing was full of the misinformation and hyperbole for which that organization is famous (“Dogs are pawns,” Jan. 3 Letters to the Editor).
Almost 95 percent of all racing greyhounds are either adopted or returned to the farm when they retire. Between reduced breeding and increasing success with adoption programs, we hope to achieve the goal of 100 percent placement of all greyhounds suitable for adoption in the near future.
Wood distorted the facts on greyhound care as well. Racing greyhounds are among the best-cared-for animals in the world, because they must receive excellent care in order to perform at their best on the track. On the rare occasions when industry members fail in their obligation for responsible greyhound care, the penalties are harsh and long term. People who violate animal-care standards are banned from the sport for life, and others prohibited from doing business with them. That’s because we take greyhound welfare very seriously.
GARY GUCCIONE
Communications coordinator
American Greyhound Council
Abilene

Now, the first thing we notice about the letter is it's shorter than the E. D. Mr. G's usual rebuttal. This could be for one of two reasons: either the effort of trying to remember the correspondence between the letter on the key and the resulting letter that appears on the screen when you push the key is getting to be too much for him, or the library staff got tired of him messing up the screen with erasure marks every time he made a typing mistake and kicked him out. Or both, but let's talk a look at what he says.

He starts, unfortunately, with the math gambit. Oh, Mr. G. We've had this talk before. Mathematics is not your friend. In fact if you moved into the same neighborhood as mathematics, mathematics would move away in the night and not leave a forwarding address. Once, for Christmas, G was given a calculator, but he returned it soon after. When the clerk asked him what was wrong, he replied that it must be broken because he had tried on several occasions to call a pizza shop to order dinner and had not been able even to get a dial tone. The other thing you need to realize about mathematics, Mr. G is that if you want to end up with numbers that are, you know, true, you have to start with numbers that have some connection to reality...and...uh...you ain't got 'em. Even your fellow overlords know that.

No cumulative annual records are available that we're aware of on disposition, whelped, where they race, where they end up, etc.

Now, if you'd like we can set up a meeting between you and the overlord who wrote that, let's see, what's his name?  Oh yeah, that was you. Looks like you've got one too many voices in  your head again.

From here the E. D. Mr. G moves on to the issue of care and how "Racing greyhounds are among the best-cared-for animals in the world." Especially the ones who are crippled and blind. Then he gets to the big finish about how if an overlord is mean to his or her greyhound, that overlord is cast into the darkness from which they can never return. Well, unless it happens to be Herb "Dutch" Koerner or Ursula O'Donnell  then...ah...not so much.

On the bright side though, they take greyhound welfare very seriously. You can attest to that huh, Lady?

 Lady is outgoing, exuberant, very energetic, playful and puppy-like. She is affectionate. She will try to crawl into your lap to cuddle when you are sitting down. She likes to be near you. She wants to be petted all the time. She is very sweet—loves affection. She likes to play with toys and will sometimes throw her toys in the air. She likes to roll on her back.  Lady would do well in a working family home with well-mannered children, 8 and older. Sometimes she plays rough with other dogs, so would do best with a young, energetic dog as her companion. She will bark when she is excited, so she may do best in a single family home. She would do best in a home with someone who knows about dog training because she is young and needs guidance and would probably be best in a home that would exercise her regularly. For more information about these dogs, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

KB Update:  Booyah! That didn't take long. KB finds a permanent couch in eastern Michigan. Welcome to the pet life, dude. Enjoy!