How Do You Say Jihad In Latin?

Regular readers of this blog know that they'll never be rich enough to be taxed by President Obama...er...we mean know that we've written on several occasions about our attendance at the local educorporate training facility overseen by the benevolent malevolencey of the church catholic. A situation from which we escaped upon graduation from Our Lady of the Perpetual Collection Plate High School (Bingo on Saturdays!) and never looked back.

This, however has us reconsidering.

In comments that could have broad implications in a period of intense religious conflict, Pope Benedict XVI cast doubt on the possibility of interfaith dialogue but called for more discussion of the practical consequences of religious differences. "The pope is concerned that it may be a waste of time to talk with people who are going to hell anyway," said a vatican spokesman.

Oh, yeah! Religious tolerance? Popey don't play that.

The pope’s comments came in a letter he wrote to Marcello Pera, an Italian center-right politician and scholar whose forthcoming book, Why We Must Call Ourselves Christian, argues that Europe should stay true to its Christian roots which it developed around 313 AD. "Europe wasn't really Europe before then. Didn't have zip codes or anything." the spokesperson added. "It's all about god. Really. It is. Just look at the title of the pope's letter on religious dialogue: Arabs back to Arabland. Er...It sounds better when you say it in Latin."

In quotations from the letter that appeared in Corriere della Sera, Italy’s leading daily newspaper, the pope said the book “explained with great clarity” that “an interreligious dialogue in the strict sense of the word is not possible.”

"Well, by 'not possible' the pope didn't really mean not possible, just...umm...OK maybe that's what he did mean. Look, he's old and that whole Nazi youth thing still affects him, you know. He's used to there only being one point of view."

Benedict added that “intercultural dialogue which deepens the cultural consequences of basic religious ideas” was important. He called for confronting “in a public forum the cultural consequences of basic religious decisions. by people other than catholics. And if that doesn't work, shoot them. Hey it worked in 1940."

The Vatican spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi, said the pope’s comments seemed intended to draw interest to Mr. Pera’s book, not to cast doubt on the Vatican’s many continuing interreligious dialogues. “He has a papacy known for interacting with the wrong religions; he peed on the carpet at a mosque, he’s tagged walls at synagogues,” Father Lombardi said. “This means that he thinks we can meet and talk to the others and have a positive relationship in which they admit they're wrong and transfer their assets to the one and only true church (Bingo on Saturdays!).”

This month, the Vatican held a conference with Muslim religious leaders and scholars aimed at "Getting their minds right with god." The conference participants agreed to condemn terrorism except when necessary to "help individuals and societies along the path to righteousness," and protect religious freedom, but they did not address issues of conversion and of the rights of Christians in majority Muslim countries to worship. Which, of course meant that religious freedom wasn't protected, but it sounded better in Latin.

After the conference the vatican issued a statement calling on all catholics to have more children and to make sure an attend the special Double Payback Bingo this Saturday.