Thursday, July 29, 2010

Gives A Whole New Meaning To How'd You Like To See My King James?

We're coming to you today from the We Report You Decide Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. WRYD is a division of the Would It Be Irresponsible To Speculate? It Would Be Irresponsible Not To Corporation in partnership with Separated At Birth LLC.

Allow us to draw your attention to this little snippet of information that oozed out of the intertoobz the other day:
The Islamist rulers of the Gaza Strip have ordered lingerie shops to display more modesty.
It seems the Imams' whiteys have gone all tighty because the wimmez are like, we're going full metal Victoria's Secret on your hookah smoking buttocks.
Hamas-run police force has told stores selling women’s underwear to remove scantily-clad mannequins and any posters of racy undergarments. “These measures have stemmed from complaints and pressure by ordinary people. They have to do with upholding our traditions,” police spokesman Ayman Al-Batniji said.
Yeah, we can sympathize there Ayman. Ever try to ride a camel with wood?

OK so you're thinking what's the point Ironicus. Everybody knows these Mohammedan guys are  full on manly men who like to blow themselves up so they can go to heaven and have 72 virgins because, you know, virgins don't have a basis for comparison and whatnot.

Right. But Eurotophobia is not our point. This is.
The Modesty Survey is an exciting, anonymous discussion between Christian guys and girls who care about modesty.
See, in America we don't do anything without running it by a focus group. So let's see what anonymous Christian guys and girls who care about modesty have to say to one another.
The overwhelming response to the idea of a modesty discussion confirmed its importance. Some Christian girls have fathers or brothers to provide godly input on their attire, but many more have none.
And we all know which category those girls in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition come from, do we not? Can we get an amen here? Also, dads tell their daughters what to wear? That could be somewhat...erm...problematic. And.
One of the purposes of The Modesty Survey is to allow Christian guys to express their gratitude to their sisters in Christ who strive to dress modestly—to let them know that their efforts are both noticed and appreciated by their brothers in Christ.
Hallelujah to that brothers and...well, brothers. Do you know how hard it is to ride a camel Honda with wood?

Now if we could just get Sears to quit sending out that racy catalog, we'd be in business.

PS: That girl on the Modesty web site is wearing a veil. Does this mean christian guys are going to start blowing themselves up at local Walmarts?  Henh henh. We said blowing.

3 comments:

Seeing Eye Chick said...

Yep, finally someone else noticed what I have known all along. I mean there is a reason that they are all grouped under Abrahamic Religions. They do hold some rather scary commonalities.
I vote for None of the Above.

Modesty is a nice concept when it's not being used as a tool to shame women into not leaving the house, speaking their mind, succeeding too much or doing other immodest, unseemly things like outshining the Penis toters.

Ironicus Maximus said...

Penis toter? Madam how dare you disparage our appendage.

Anonymous said...

"let them know that their efforts are both noticed and appreciated by their brothers in Christ" ! Are their comments like: "Hey, check out the rack on that nun" ?