St. Peter’s Anglican Church has long been known as an open and inclusive place.See, as current non-practicing catholics who have non-practiced to the point where we just don't give a dry fart we have to say Pissantonia has a point. You see there are two extremely fundamental and complex theological issues here that the Reverend Rea has chosen to ignore.
So open, it seems, they won’t turn anyone away. Not even a dog. That’s how a blessed canine ended up receiving communion from interim priest Rev. Marguerite Rea during a morning service the last Sunday in June.
Well, three if you count that fact that she's a women doing a priest's job. What's up with that? Anglicans! Another cult, right Tennessee Lt. Gov. Ron Ramsey?
Anyway, as any catholic worth his or her scapula will tell you, dogs don't have souls which means, in the church hierarchy they're even lower than well...Lutherans. But don't take our word for it, let's consult an expert, Doctor Richard Geraghty, who has a PhD in...um...something, we're not really clear on that, but no matter, the dude knows his souls
One principle is that all living things have a soul. Here soul is defined as what makes an organic body live. Now when any living thing dies, its soul is separated from its body. In the case of plants and animals the soul goes out of existence.Boom. And ipso facto, dominus vobiscumm, e pluibus unum there you have it. No soul, no heaven. Sort of like Jews, but we digress. Need more proof? Take it away Dr. Geraghty, PhD sir:
But in the case of man, the soul remains in existence because it is a spiritual or immaterial thing. Consequently, it differs from the souls of animals in two important respects. First, it is the seat of intelligence or reason. For this reason a man is held responsible for his actions in a way that animals are not. Secondly, the soul is immortal.Can't argue with the logic. People souls: spiritual and immaterial. Dog souls: some sort of recycled plastic we believe. Also, "the soul is immortal." So congregants, the lesson is the soul is immortal. Except when it's not. Now, if that's confusing to you it's because you don't have a PhD like Doctor Richard Geraghty...PhD. Also, since man has "intelligence or reason" he gets to pick which immortal souls are immortal so if he had picked dogs' souls over his, that would sort of be the definition of lack of "intelligence or reasoning" what?
Which brings us to the next theological issue, since dogs don't have a soul god can work with, what happens to old whole wheat Jebus if he gets dropped on the tongue of canis familiaris?Frankly we don't know what sex the aforementioned quadrupedal parishioner is, but if he was a male...well, would you want to drop the sweet, sweet unleavened savior on a tongue that been licking its own balls?
It's obviously something Pissantonia didn't want to contemplate.
Update: The boss went home early today so rather then spend the rest of the afternoon playing Evony we did a little checking into Doctor Richard Geraghty's graduate studies in the Soul. Is you is, or is you ain't immortal department. Here's what we found:
Dr. Richard Geraghty is professor of philosophy at St. Joseph’s House of
And what is The Object of Moral Philosophy According to St. Thomas Aquinas Dr. Geraghty? Making sure no one has to worry about stepping in a pile of dog poop while walking the golden streets of heaven, my son.
Yeah. Wonder what St Francis of Assisi thinks of old Tommy's idea.