Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Plain As The Nose On Your Face Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The PATNOYFD is a division of the Somebody Buy These People A Clue Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of Stupid Is As Stupid Does, LLC.

It seems the West Virginia chapter of our ongoing experiment in the Dunning Kruger effect* on governance is having some trouble figuring out the will of the people when it comes to the continued exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit.

Despite a push by the West Virginia Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association to eliminate greyhound racing and provide dog owners with a buyout, the first session of the 82nd Legislature failed to address the state’s greyhound racing fund, largely due to numerous complications on the subject, according to lawmakers.

 When asked to describe some of those complications, Senate Finance Chairman Mike Hall, R-etarded said, "Well when you have people from both inside and outside of racing telling us to end it we're not really sure what to do. I mean, on the one hand you have representative government reflecting the will of the people. And on the other hand you have us."

The session featured some discussion on the once-popular greyhound fund after a report was released by an animal rights organization in January, Grey2K USA released a report which found that subsidies from the state’s casino video lottery profits account for more than 95 percent of greyhound racing revenues. Although the greyhound industry had a $31 million economic impact on West Virginia in 2012, state subsidies accounted for $29 million, the study noted.

"Now, I know it looks like it's costing $29 million to get $2 million," Hall said. "But that's just because math is involved. You can't really expect us to use stuff like that when it comes to proposing legislation. Come on, this is the Finance Committee for crying out loud."

Following the study’s release, the West Virginia Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association introduced bills in the House of Delegates and the Senate in hopes of providing financial restitution to those who invested in the greyhound industry. The Senate bill sought a $37.5 million buyout, which association President Sam Burdette said would provide dog owners and breeders a return on their investment while also ending greyhound racing this year.

"Other states have paid us to go away," Burdette said. "I don't see why things should be any different here. Bottom line is you get rid of the heartless cruelty that we call greyhound racing, the dogs are released to live out their lives as pets rather than commodities, and those of us who sucked our leech-like living off the continued injury and deaths of hundreds of animals trapped in the meat grinder of a dying industry fade away like that heartburn you had last night. It's win win man."

Sen. Daniel Hall, R-etrograde, told the Daily Mail on Wednesday that his colleagues were conflicted. “Do you cut them off cold turkey, do a partial phase out or a buyout?” he asked. “Nobody could come to a consensus as to what was the right thing to do.”

When asked to respond to Burdette's buy out proposal Hall replied, "Well sure that's what everyone wants, it's been done in Iowa and it would solve the problem, but we need time to study it so we can find a way to screw it up."

Further complicating matters was the fact that neither the governor’s office nor the House of Delegates weighed in on the matter, which essentially left the Senate as the only body to have significant discussions on greyhound racing this year.

"It's like we're expected us to take a leadership role here," Hall said. "I didn't become a state senator so I could effect positive change for crying out loud. Why do you think the people elected me?

Our guess is because they weren't paying enough attention. What's your take Ivy?

Sweet-natured little Ms. Ivy enjoys being with people whether it’s time to play or time to relax. Did someone mention getting out the squeaky toys and a ball or two? Ivy never misses an opportunity to have fun, and will need a home with a 6′ fence so she’s not tempted to find fun outside of her yard, and even helps tidy up afterwards by taking all toys to her bed. R&R time is good too, best done with her close by–naturally– since you never know when something might come along which would require some needle-nosed attention. Great company, that’s our Ms. Ivy!! For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

*h/t Michigan Liberal

Friday Hound Blogging

Now, we're not ones to take credit where it's undeserved here in the marbled halls of IM Central. Well, unless we think no one can check that is (Telling Tom Cotton the capitol of Iraq is Tehran so he'd make a complete fool of himself? Totally us. Just saying). Anyway our point is we feel we have to take some credit for revitalizing the overlord campaign against reality. Last week you may recall (if you don't really have a life) that we were lamenting the apparent surrender of the overlords to the inevitability that they were going to have to join the labor pool sooner rather than later. We can only assume that our cry fell upon the sleeping overlord hoards like poop from a flock of passing geese because no less an overlord than the oft mentioned Gary Guccione himself has this week stepped forward to once again raise the banner of clueless obfuscation and deliberate misrepresentation.

But before we inflict the febrile excreta that passes for thought in Mr. G's world on you we'd like to take a minute to comment on the accompanying photo of our designated interlocutor. To wit:

We're going to pass over the obvious resemblance to a mug shot as we suspect that might be the G man's primary experience with having his photo taken and just say Gary! You have really let yourself go man! We mean, check out this photo from just a few years ago:

Dude! What happened? Apparently being the primary spokesperson for institutionalized cruelty and heartless exploitation takes its toll huh? We can only imagine what changes the next few years might bring:

But back to our story:

The March 7 Viewpoint regarding greyhound racing in Florida was a typical animal rights hit job – long on misrepresentation and short on facts. Groups like Grey2K USA and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals know that good animal care doesn't help them raise funds. There's big money in painting the industry in a negative light.

 OK, so open up by changing the subject. That's overlord strategy 3A we think. Right G? And about that "negative light" thing. Dogs are being injured and killed, abandoned and just generally mistreated. Any "light" at all on that is going to be fairly negative wouldn't you agree?

The fact is that greyhound racing has adopted rigorous animal care standards. Under the rules of the National Greyhound Association, people found guilty of mistreating or neglecting greyhounds or any other animals in their care are banned from greyhound racing for life, and others prohibited from doing business with them.

Hey, G man. Two words: Ursula O'Donnel. OK, two more: Herb Koerner. See a pattern here? 

It should be obvious to anyone with an ounce of common sense that greyhounds would not be able to perform as they do on the track if they did not receive proper care. For example, industry standards require that greyhound crates must be large enough to permit the dogs to stand, sit, lie down and turn around comfortably. It would be counterproductive to house the greyhounds in improperly sized crates, since it would affect their muscle health and impair their ability to perform when racing.

Let's see if we have this right. Your definition of "proper care" is to give the units a crate big enough to turn around in for the 18 - 22 hours a day they are in there, that about right?  But on the bright side, the dogs are only in those crates as long as they're winning. Stop winning and they're dumped and replaced by another helpless victim...er...we mean properly cared for dog.

Greyhounds are exercised for extended periods at least four times daily, probably twice as often as the average family dog. These canine athletes expend huge amounts of energy when they run, so when not racing, they prefer to rest.

Yeah, but like we said a couple weeks ago, when all you can do is stand up and turn around "resting" is about your only option. Come on now G it's starting to sound like you're phoning it in. Give us something new OK? 

The diet fed to greyhounds includes the same meat products found in most commercial pet foods, as well as vegetables and cereal. Although the meat is not suitable for human consumption, it is perfectly healthy and safe for dogs, whose digestive systems are quite different from ours.

Really? The food thing again? G! You're disappointing us dude. Cooking man, the commercial pet foods are cooked to kill the pathogens, not the crap you dump on the poor greyhounds.  Now we're depressed. We really expected more G man. After all, you're the G man! The executive director of the National Greyhound Association, the official registry of greyhound racing in the United States! The whole US bro! Act like it. The other overlords are looking to you for inspiration. Now get out there and show us your stuff!

Animal rights groups also deceive when it comes to injuries. Only a fraction of one percent of all racing starts result in injuries to greyhounds, and the vast majority

OK, OK G. G? We're going to stop you right there because we've heard all this before and it doesn't sound any different just because the executive director says it. We got to tell you man, we're feeling pretty let down. Like we said last week, we kind of miss the good old days when the overlords actually believed if they said it, that made it true, so when we saw your name on the editorial we were pretty excited, but this is stuff that could have been written years ago--probably was written years ago back when you had more hair and it's the same load of delusional obfuscation and deliberate missing of the point today that it was back then. It's over G. It's really over. Stick a fork in him Nolan, he's done.

Nolan is a one year old male who came with his sister Nelly. Nolan can live with cats or small dogs, but we don't yet know if he can be an only dog. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

You know, we have to admit that  we're getting a little tired of reporting on the latest overlord attempts to fend off reality. We mean, every time we slide over to the dog racing side of town to peek in on the latest trials and travails besetting the continuance of their leech-like existence all we see are well, trials and travails. It's bad news followed by more bad news and then, for a change of pace some really bad news. It's wearing us down folks and by the looks of it, it's wearing the overlords down too. It's almost like their heart isn't in it anymore and they're just going though the motions. For example, take this article:

Since 1991, 41 dog tracks have closed or ended live racing. One state after another has turned back the clock on this 20th century anachronism, and it is now illegal in 39 states. The disintegration of greyhound racing is partly due to increased awareness about animal welfare problems. Cruel dog-track conditions have been extensively documented, and were highlighted again this month with the release of the first national report on greyhound racing by humane groups GREY2K USA and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

Now, at this point that's become almost boilerplate language when it comes to writing anything about the continued exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit and there was a time when the overlords would rise to the occasion to defend the heartless commodification of helpless greyhounds trapped in the industry deathcamps. But check out the comment by overlord Jan Dykema:

greyhounds were meant to run they are born to run..so let's see if they cannot run on the track can they chase rabbits and kill them how about chase cats and kill them.. can they do anything they were bred to do? or should they just be couch pets? A Greyhound is a very large animal high maintenance dog for a household. So if they cannot race they will become more rare than they are now and another breed will face extinction.. that is what you are doing to these dogs.. making then extinct.

 Really? That's it? That's the best you can come up with? If greyhounds don't race they'll go extinct? Ever hear of a backyard, or a dog park. Ever seen a greyhound with a stuffie? And "A Greyhound is a very large animal high maintenance dog for a household?" Say what? You talking about these greyhounds?

Et cetera ad infinitum...

Well, we think it's pretty obvious that the overlords' hearts just aren't in it anymore. They're mailing it in folks and who could blame them? They gave it their best shot, but that pesky old reality just kept jumping up and slapping them in the face. Still, we miss the old days when the overlords would attempt to prove, using geometric logic and advanced scientific experimentation that the continued injury and death of defenseless greyhounds bred only for the cruel and merciless industry in which they were used up then cast aside was, in fact, not happening and what people with souls could see right in front of them was, in fact, the exact opposite of what they thought they were seeing.

Ah, those were the good old days, but now it's come to this. Overlord Dykema sputters and pops like a used up jalopy on its last legs. She is, in fact, a metaphor for the whole industry--used up; on its last legs; and sputtering its way towards the trash heap of history. So long crazy overlord math where two plus two equals SHUT UP! So long ludicrous overlord science where the experimental outcome is always  LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU! And so long overlord apologists who stood against the tide of mercy and compassion like Monty Python's Black Knight and said "You Shall Not Pass" as we all walked by. You will not be missed. Hey Dante, want to wave bye bye?

Hello! My name is Dante. I am a handsome young greyhound with amber colored eyes. Just look into my eyes as you’re getting sleepier and sleepier. Good, it’s easy to be hypnotized as you gaze upon my beautiful picture! I am very easy going and love everybody, humans, cats, and dogs. I’m currently in foster learning house rules and loving it. I have great food and a soft bed. I also get hugs and kisses. I am a fast learner too and always go outside to do my business. I don’t like confined spaces so I will need access to the whole house. I am very loving and looking for the perfect family to call my own! For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will remember the slow erosion of expectation into acquiescence...erm...we mean will remember last week when we reported on the overlord backlash to the plethora of reports that they were, in fact, a raucous belch in the church of reason; a turd in the swimming pool of society; a chipped plate of leftover spam on the buffet table of humanity. Nay and Nay, the overlords cry. It is not we who wish to injure and kill innocent living creatures for (no) profit, it is you animal rights wackos! You who have worked so hard and so long to bring the inherent cruelty of what we do into the public spotlight! You who have devoted countless hours and untold sums of your own money rescuing, rehabilitating and rehoming dogs we cast off like like jetsam from a sinking ship! You who dare to tell us that we cling leech-like to an industry that died long ago and now zombie walks to the dustbin of history!

Logic has never been one of the overlords' strong suites. Anyway they're back this week with more reasons why up is down, black is white and stupid is the new smart.

The Florida Greyhound Association has decided to fight back, claiming that decoupling would not only be costly to the state, but also increase gambling. The FGA also has said that decouplng would harm greyhounds, saying that Grey2K and other advocates have no real plan to take care of the dogs should they be released from their respective race tracks.

OK, let's perform a little Ironicus Maximus exigesical presto chango on this and see if we can't clarify what's going on with what passes for reasoned discourse in the fetid swamp where the overlords go to birth their rationalizations. First, decoupling will cost the state more money. Well, this is pretty clearly an example of overlord math skills because currently the state has to maintain and support an entire bureaucratic division dedicated to watching over overlord shenanigans. Obviously if racing ended they would not have to fund that line in the budget so monies could go elsewhere, perhaps education or social services which would clearly cost...umm...the overlords because they would have to find other ways to convince people to give them money. Second, gambling will increase. This is easily demonstrable because if racing ends, all those people who don't gamble on it now will have to go somewhere else to not gamble. Third, ending racing will harm the greyhounds. This is perhaps the overlords' strongest argument because if you think about what they are saying--"decouplng would harm greyhounds, saying that Grey2K and other advocates have no real plan to take care of the dogs should they be released from their respective race tracks."-- it means if greyhound racing ends we are going to drop these dogs faster than old lady Dugger drops kids, we are going to abandon them faster than Scott Walker abandons his positions because we care deeply about them and always put their welfare first.

So, to sum up--Greyhound Racing! Motto: If you can't make money running the dogs, turn them into hostages. That about cover it Mya?

I am a very sweet and friendly girl. I am outgoing and love everyone I meet. I don’t know how to sit, as most Greyhounds don’t, but I will bow for food. I am a very smart girl. I have the typical Greyhound personality. I don’t mind being in my crate. I love dogs of all sizes and kitties too. I even live with a bird right now and I completely ignore him. I am housebroken. I love to play with my stuffed animals. I do great in the car and walk very well on a leash. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the Fart In A Hurricane Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The FIAH Department is a division of the Spit Into The Wind Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of Pee In The Ocean, LLC.

After weeks and weeks of being reminded that they are boils on the buttocks of society, that they are as useful as a screen door on a submarine, that their contribution to society is surpassed by an Ebola outbreak and that their so called profession has more in common with rabies than anything that might be considered valuable by sentient beings, the overlords have struck back.

Grey2K USA activists have created a distorted picture of greyhound racing at Gulf Greyhound Park, as well as other tracks across the country. This is intentional.These activists have a radical agenda that has far more to do with politics and fundraising than with animal welfare.

Now, we've heard this retort from the overlords many times and on one level it makes sense as simple projection because as overlord King says:

"More of a business than a pet." So with an attitude like that it's no wonder they see what the animal rights wackos do as a business too. When you're a hammer kind of thing, you know? Plus since they have about as much empathy as a wounded scorpion it's no wonder they can't conceive of anyone doing anything out of a sense of altruism, but here's our question: If animal rights wackos are only in it for the money, and they're helping to shut tracks down all over the country, aren't they killing their own market? We mean, if they only want to make money off the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit, why are they working so hard to end it? As Mr. Spock (RIP) would say, curious. But back to our story.

The Grey2K report on greyhound injuries was a collection of statistics that are easy to misrepresent if that’s the intention. For example, the report failed to explain that between 2009 and 2012, injuries occurred in fewer than one-tenth of one percent of all racing starts.

Ah, the old "Nothing To See Here" strategy. Don't look over there at all those greyhounds injured and dying, look over here to the ones who survived. Well, survived today at least. Each day brings a new opportunity to get hurt or killed, but we'll give you that Sally Briggs, general manager of Gulf Greyhound Park.You're saying not enough greyhounds are getting injured and killed to make a difference, so our question is, how many greyhounds have to suffer and die before you notice it?

The vast majority were minor, permitting the greyhounds to return to racing after treatment. Even in cases where injuries prevented a return to racing, the greyhounds transitioned successfully to life in adoptive homes.

OK, saying most greyhounds get hurt but we patch them up enough so they can go out there and possibly get hurt again, maybe more severely, is not a strong argument for your side there overlord Briggs, and as far as the transitioning into adoptive homes thing goes, how do you square that with what overlord King says:

When we have dogs which we cannot rehome we take them to the vet and have them euthanized humanely.

Sounds like somebody didn't get the memo.

Anyone with an ounce of common sense should recognize that preventing injuries and providing the best possible care for greyhounds is not only the right thing to do, but it’s good business.

Well of course it is overlord Briggs, but it's better business to take a dog that's slow or injured, dump it as quickly as possible and replace it with another helpless victim...erm...we mean with fresh inventory...no...uh...competitor.  Yeah that's it, competitor because, as you have said many times, the dogs love to run around a closed track risking injury and death so they can help you grab a smaller and smaller piece of a shrinking money pie. Or words to that effect.

Industry regulations require that greyhounds be housed in comfortable crates large enough to permit them to stand, sit, lie down and turn around comfortably.

 Well, that's good because since the dogs are in their crates 18 to 22 hours a day being able to turn around is helpful. Of course being able to stretch our on a nice soft dog bed, or a couch would be better, but like overlord King says, "they are more of a business than a pet" so we see where you are coming from.

Similarly, greyhounds must be turned out for exercise four to five times daily to ensure that they remain in top condition. When they’re not racing or exercising, they prefer to rest.

Sure, but when you're in a crate that only has enough room to stand up and turn around in what choice do you have but "rest?" It's not like they can run and catch a Frisbee or anything, you know?

Good nutrition is another key to the health of racing greyhounds. The meat they consume is the same found in most commercial pet foods — the same diet most of our pets enjoy.

Yeah, that's true about the meat, but you left out the part about how the meat in commercial pet food is cooked to kill the pathogens, and the meat for the units isn't, hence the prevalence of things like  microorganisms, including Salmonella spp, Campylobacter jejuni, and Escherichia coli. Mmmm.  Campylobacter jejuni. Sounds like it'd be really good with a little hot sauce, right Dasher?

Dasher is a five year old male just rescued. He will need a home without cats. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Oh the woe that is being visited upon the overlords. To paraphrase EAP:

vainly they had sought to borrow
From delusion surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Dollar -
For the slow and stupid Marks whom the angels name The Rubes-
Absent now for evermore.

Or words to that effect. Anyway the point is another week has passed and as the overlords arise and peer through the cellophane covering the trailer window on this deep winter day, when the air is almost as frigid as their black little hearts, what manner of travail stares back at them...

Sorry. Just felt like working dramatic chipmunk in there. Actually it's pretty much sameo sameo this week.

Discussions are underway at the State Capitol about how West Virginia gets out of the dog racing business. “Something is going to be done; it’s just a matter of time,” said Senate Finance Committee Chairman Mike Hall (R-Putnam).

Get out of the dog racing business. Man. Not too many ways to interpret that huh overlords? Well, maybe we shouldn't be so hasty. After all, the overlords have made missing the point and changing the subject into an art form. Just check out some of the comments on this story. Our favorites are the ones about a dog that ran thirty five years ago and the rant about tracks that closed before Grey2K came along. Kind of making their point for them there Mr. Floatingboat, don't you think? But back to our story.

A recent independent study by Spectrum Gaming Group chronicled the epic decline of greyhound racing at the tracks in Wheeling and Cross Lanes. Wagering has dropped from $35 million in 2003 to just $16 million in 2013. Attendance has declined from over 900,000 people annually to just 13,000 (though some in the greyhound industry question those attendance figures).

Well of course they do because you can't argue with the dollar decline so you try to change the subject to how heads were counted. This is overlord obfuscation 101 Mr. Reporter sir. If you've been reporting on the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit for more than a half hour or so we're surprised you didn't see that.

Hall and others in the leadership are working on several different options:
1) Cut off payments to the breeders fund and at some point begin phasing out the subsidy of the purses.
2) Eliminate payments to the breeder’s fund and the purses, but offer a buyout to qualifying breeders. 3) Do nothing.
Hall is among those who believe the industry is fading and the money should be recouped, but he’s not willing to rush a decision. “We do not want to have an unintended consequence.”

We hear you Chairman Hall and believe us, if one of those "unintended consequences" is that the overlords have to go out and get real jobs, we're sure they hear you too.

The West Virginia greyhound industry is divided over the future. Sam Burdette, president of the West Virginia Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association, favors a buyout. However, breeder Lester Raines believes greyhound racing is still viable.

When asked to explain why he thought placing helpless greyhounds at risk of death and injury on a daily basis in the futile attempt to squeeze a few last dollars out of a dead industry, zombie walking to oblivion was "viable," Mr. Raines couldn't really point to any specific reasons, although he did admit that the sky on his planet was pink.

Governor Tomblin, whose late mother, Freda, benefited from the breeder’s fund for years, acknowledges times have changed. “As the wagering has continued to decline, it’s time we start looking at how we continue with this industry,” he said.

 Well, if by "continue" you mean shoot it in the brain, cut its head off, bury it, set the grave on fire then build an concrete memorial on top of that to all the dogs who have died so the overlords could preserve their leech-like existence for another day, then yeah, we're with you. That about sum it up Edward?

My foster mom says I am a real lover. I love to “hug” you. I do the typical Greyhound lean. I love to follow my foster mom around. I am cuddly, friendly and outgoing. I have met cats and dogs of all sizes when I get to go to work with my foster mom who is a groomer. I even live with a bunny in my foster home. I love to go for walks and do well on the leash. I love everybody I meet. I am housebroken. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here. 

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will recall the vivacious colors of youth bursting against an azure sky of promise like multicolored madness now become lugubrious ghosts under the desultory clouds of increasing entropy...erm...we mean will recall that we have been chronicling the slow (and not so slow) descent of the overlords into irrelevancy.  And this week, oh they have greased the skids fellow sailors on this ship of fools.

Now even the Arabs have noticed.

Citing more than 600 sources, including state racing commission reports and records, veterinary journal articles, necropsy reports, National Greyhound Association documents, books and newspaper stories, the national report on greyhounds said at least 909 greyhound deaths have been documented. In Florida, a racing greyhound dies every three days, according to state records. The report also documented 11,722 greyhound injuries, including fractured skulls, broken necks and electrocutions, and 27 cases of animal cruelty, including dogs starved to death and denied veterinary care.

That' Aljazeera man. Al freakin' Jazeera which usually reports on who's mad at the king in north Wangdangistan, or what the demonstrations are about in the capitol city of Al Gebra, has turned their attention to the heartless commodification of innocent living creatures for the sole purpose of making (no) money and determined that greyhound racing sucks gravel through a straw.

Now that just has to leave a mark.

“We would like to reduce the amount of dog racing we do here,” Izzy Havenick, co-owner of the Naples-Fort Myers Track and Entertainment Center, told America Tonight in December. Havenick said the dog track loses $2.5 million a year, and he wants Florida lawmakers to change the law to make the poker rooms and greyhound racing independent of one another, a move dubbed “decoupling.” Greyhound breeders and owners oppose decoupling.

"Well of course breeders oppose decoupling," Havenick continued. "As long as there's racing I'm paying $2.5 mill a year to keep those useless bags of mostly wasted protein off the job market. Would you turn down a deal like that?"

We like to think we would, especially if it  required contining injury and death for the greyhounds still trapped in the deathcamps. What do you say Jeff Kottkamp, a former Florida lieutenant governor who lobbies on behalf of Florida Greyhound Association?

Dog owners and breeders say they have a financial interest in keeping their dogs healthy and happy. “The people that own these dogs love these dogs," Kottkamp said. "Well, until they stop winning that is, then they dump them like yesterday's trash, bring in a new one and the process starts all over again. We call it inventory rotation."

If this were not a family blog we might suggest something else you could rotate on, Mr. Kottkamp, but let's get back to the report.

“Thirty-nine states have already made the humane decision to ban greyhound racing, but this cruel sport continues to exploit greyhounds despite public outcry and overwhelming financial losses from a dying industry,” Nancy Perry, senior vice president of government relations at ASPCA, said in a statement.

 Thirty nine, huh? Well that's a pretty substantial number. So what states are left?

In addition to Florida, six other states operate greyhound tracks: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Iowa, Texas and West Virginia.

Iowa? Come on now Aljazeera.  Iowa is the Schrodinger's cat of racing. It both exists and it doesn't, and as soon as any attention is payed to it, the situation will collapse. And West Virgina? Well, OK, there is racing in West Virginia. Today. We'd check back tomorrow if we were you. Wouldn't you agree Judge?

I am lovable, bonding, and silly. I am a very active boy so I need guidance. I am strong willed. I love to play with toys. I am a big leaner. Unlike most Greyhounds, I know how to sit. I love to run and play and do zoomies in the yard. I am a real Velcro dog. I get along with dogs of all sizes and kitties too. I am housebroken. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here. 

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the If It Weren't For Bad Luck, Wouldn't Have Any Luck At All Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The IIWFBLWHALAA Department is a division of the Sunk So Low Have To Look Up To See Down Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of It's Always Darkest Just Before Someone Hits You In The Head With A Shovel, NA.

As we have chronicled in this blog, 2015 has not been kind to the overlords. We mean, when you read headlines like  State subsidies for greyhound racing could be better spent and Dog Racing Becoming A Thing of the Past and those are the good news stories, at least compared to Orange Park greyhound racing deaths at top in the state well, let's just say the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit has a bit of a problem vis-a-vis people who can count and have souls.

But, say what you will about the overlords--and we often do--they've never been a group of third grade dropouts with substance abuse problems and anger management issues that lets a little thing like reality get them down, right JJ Steinoff of Kenosha, a member of United Greyhound Racing?

To start, I would bring back the greyhounds but add pari-mutuel snowmobile racing in the winter months as an added attraction.

OK, Wisconsin, snowmobiles. We get that. But it sounds like you're saying people would come out to see helpless greyhounds caught in the meat grinder of a dying industry risk death and injury, and when they couldn't see that they'd settle for snowmobile racing. You are talking about the Wisconsin on planet earth, right?

Greyhound racing has made great strides in the last few years, with attendance and overall handle up at many tracks and the sport just had its first national championship race since 1993.

 OK, we think we see your problem. See when people drive by the track and happen to glance at the empty parking lot and the crumbling buildings, that doesn't count as "attendance." And as for the national championship thing? That's like the "Miss Universe" contest. You can call it whatever you want, but that doesn't mean that's really what it is.

I fully believe that the sport’s best days are ahead of us and would be happy to share our blueprint for future success to anyone interested.

Well, if by "best days are ahead of us" you mean soon all the greyhounds living in money losing deathcamps will be liberated and the overlords will finally have to get real jobs, then yeah, we're with you. Otherwise, not so much.

Snowmobile racing, even without wagering, is extremely popular up north and I feel the races would be a huge attraction in this part of the state, especially if used with the same interactive and modern technology that the greyhounds would be using. Only the first floor of the Dairyland building would be needed for racing.

Um...Mr. Steinoff sir? Having push and pull signs on the doors so the rubes can figure out how to get in and out is not  "interactive and modern technology." We do get what you're saying about the first floor though, but you can get even more specific than that. Since only about six people show up for greyhound races anyway, you could probably get by with just that table over in the corner. You know, the one with the wobbly legs and the mismatched chairs?

The next revenue idea for the Menominee is to create a fantasy sports app and then build an intimate sports bar/sports book type setting on the second floor of Dairyland. In the last five years, fantasy sports has taken off and exploded into a whole new area of sports wagering. Plus, it’s 100 percent legal in Wisconsin, as long as the prize is not tied to a score of the contest but is predicted on statistics. People love to bet on football, baseball and basketball and fantasy sports has the potential to be bigger than any gambling platform the world has ever seen.

Well, you may be right Mr. Steinoff, but here's our question: Why would anyone want to be down on the first floor reading some wrinkled old racing form, surrounded by drunks and people without teeth when that person could be up on the second floor being part of an experience "bigger than any gambling platform the world has ever seen?" You have any thoughts on the matter Nevah?

This lovely girl, who’s name is “Haven” spelled backwards has just been liberated. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog who once cast their eyes over the limitless vista of hope and promise and thought "I will make this mine" now must huddle in the cold shadow of lowered expectations...erm...we mean will recall we reported on the overlords in Iowa and their quest to open a deathcamp for greyhounds with half the money the casinos gave them to go away because if you want something done right, ignore all the evidence that it can't be done, Reality and the overlords seldom travel the same road, however, so the Racing Commission said fine, if that's what you want to do, it's not illegal to be stupid, and off the overlords went to recapture those exciting days of yesteryear before people with souls learned what was happening to the inventory.

So how's that going?

The Iowa Greyhound Association is looking to claim nearly $5 million from a supplemental fund in an effort to help live dog racing in Dubuque.

OK, so you haven't even started yet, but you've figured out you need $5 mill more to pull this thing off? What about when you said "this dedicated fund is more than enough to cover operations for live racing for the first five year lease the IGA will enter regarding the facility?" Oh wait, don't answer that. You were thinking people would actually come to the track when it opened weren't you? Well, don't worry, it's an easy enough mistake to make...if you're an idiot.

But hey, this is America right? Home of Trongs, watermelon strollers and the bottle opener remote, so why not pour more money into the heartless commodification of innocent living creatures for (no) profit? We mean it's got to have at least a good of a chance of paying off as  bacon bandages, right West Virginia?

A study commissioned by state lawmakers says greyhound racing subsidies are a bad investment and should be eliminated.

Whoa. That's kind of cold, don't you think? We mean all that's going on here is the killing and maiming of hundreds of helpless greyhounds every year so that a couple of drunks can lose the rent money and keep the overlords out of the labor pool for a while. What's so bad about that? Right greyhound breeder Steve Sarras?

“You can manipulate statistics any way you want to manipulate them,” Sarras said.

Darn straight. You get those stiff necked Yankees coming in here with all their high falutin' math and such and next thing you know they're telling everybody ain't no future in paying the overlords not to work. Well, somebody needs to tell it like it is and Stevie is just the man for the job, so come on you liberal eggheads, give him your best shot.

In-state wagers dropped 55 percent from 2004 to 2013 at West Virginia’s two greyhound tracks, Wheeling Island Hotel Casino Racetrack and Mardi Gras Casino and Resort, the report said. In Wheeling, greyhound racing drew 929,000 spectators in 1983, a number that is now down to 13,000 or an estimated 50 people per race day.

 Ha! Just as we thought. You're using fancy pants statistical numbers and such to imply that just because no one is coming to the tracks anymore racing is unpopular and unprofitable. Typical east coast elitist disdain for the good folks out here in flyover country. We wouldn't have expected anything else from a bunch of  carpet bagger snake oil salesmen. What we need is to hear from a good old boy, someone whose roots are here and who knows what we know. What about you Senate Minority Leader Jeff Kessler? You've lived here all your life. Tell these pencil necked northern geeks where to get off. Go ahead lay a little down home what it is on their pasty white behinds.

“We are subsidizing a sport that nobody’s watching.”

Boom! There it is study boy! What you think of us now? You can just pack your kit into your little Prius and wait what?

Now may be the time, Kessler said, to start rolling back West Virginia’s investments in greyhounds.

 Umm..OK. Jeez Tyler, that did not go the way we expected.

Snuggly and smart, this handsome fellow is very inquisitive. He’s playful and very good company. Tyler has a passion for food, so never trust him, no matter what he tells you!! This boy should be in sales with his schmoozing! ! Did we mention smart? Tyler has been busy learning home etiquette and rules. He’s getting along nicely with his foster sibs. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will recall the boundless world that lay before them in their youth now become the harsh and barren landscape of broken hopes and unfilled expectations...erm...we mean will recall we here in the marbled halls of IM Central have been watching events unfold in Florida vis-a-vis the overlords and people with souls. Most recently we told you of the defection from the overlord camp of the track owners, who are basically the overlords' overlords. That coupled with the movement in the state legislature to make the overlords actually report the damage they do to the innocent living creatures trapped in a cruel and heartless (not to mention unprofitable) industry death spiraling into the dustbin of history has meant that 2015 has, so far, not been kind to those who would exploit the oldest recognized breed of dog for personal gain, right state Sen. Eleanor Sobel?

“I think this is a barbaric practice and we are subsidizing a bankrupt sport.”

Whoa, Senator Sobel. Tell us how you really feel. Well, wait. Don't. It's obvious you've drunk the Grey2K Kool Aid here. We mean, the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit is a growth industry. Just ask the Iowa Greyhound Association. They're reopening a track because there's just so much pent up demand in Iowa. Right guys?

Dubuque casinos collected about $113 million in revenue in 2014, marking a 6.5 percent decline compared to 2013.The end-of-year numbers were unveiled today during the monthly meeting of Dubuque Racing Association, held at Mystique Casino. The DRA holds the license for both the greyhound racing and casino-gaming operations of Mystique and is the co-licensee for Diamond Jo Casino.

See? You just need to advertise the product right and then, wait what? Down 6.5%? OK, OK, that's not good, but that's what happened to the casinos. 

Despite slumping revenue figures, Mystique CEO Jesus Aviles said the Dubuque market did see positive developments in 2014.

Right. And we're willing to bet greyhound racing was one of those bright spots. After all, it's been taken over by the overlords themselves and if anyone knows how to make greyhound racing popular it's them, right? So tell us how greyhound racing is a positive development.

“Top billing goes to the elimination of greyhound racing,” he said.

 Yeah, well, not exactly the positive development we had in mind, but still, Iowa is Iowa and Florida is Florida, so Senator Sobel you can't argue that just because racing is bankrupt and barbaric in Iowa the same would be true for the sunshine state.

Greyhound racing is a dying sport. According to a legislative report, the state spends $3.1 million more each year to regulate greyhound racing than it receives in tax revenue. The state Division of Pari-Mutuel Wagering reports that paid attendance at dog tracks has dropped 85 percent over 10 years and the amount bet has dropped 67 percent since 1990.

 Hmmm. Looks like when we use the phrases positive development and greyhound racing in the same sentence it means we're positive it's dying and that's a great development. Wouldn't you agree Dante?

Dante is a two year old who can live with cats and small dogs. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the That's Not What I Wanted To Hear Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The TNWIWTHD is a division of the With Friends Like These Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of This Will Not End Well, LLC.

Whilst surfing around the overlord side of the intertoobz the other day we ran across this particularly distressing headline:

Why do Florida track owners want to stop greyhound racing?

Of course our first response was because they hate America. Ask any overlord and he or she will tell you if the wholesale exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit is ended and they are forced to enter the job market, well, the terrorists have won and that's the end of freedom. Those are just the facts.

Now, for those of you keeping score at home, the track owners are the individuals who own the real estate upon which the overlords eke out their tick like existence on the backs of the greyhounds brought into this world for the sole purpose of making them rich.

And therein lies the problem.

What used to be a glamorous, lucrative sport has become a money-losing proposition that brings a black eye from animal-welfare groups. “This is an industry that is dying in Florida and all over the country, and it’s dying because of competition from other forms of gambling,” said Carey Theil, an anti-greyhound racing activist and the executive director of Grey2K, a nonprofit group that campaigns to put an end to dog racing in the seven states where it remains legal. “It’s dying because of concerns about the way dogs are treated in this industry.”

 Ha! Just what we would expect from a well known animal rights wacko like Theil. See, here's the problem with people like Theil: they're not overlords. Anyone in the industry will tell you that until you've actually been an overlord you can't say anything about racing, no matter how much you've read, or seen, or studied. We call this the There is no Australia gambit. And there you go. Since Theil has never personally participated in the institutionalized cruelty that is greyhound racing, he can't talk about it. As the lawyers say, ipso facto, cavet emptor, cave canem case closed. We're sorry. What did you say Izzy Havenick owner of the Naples–Fort Myers Greyhound Track and Poker Room?

“The state of Florida law mandates that we continue to run the dogs in order to keep the poker room open,” he said. “We’re legally obliged to keep a business operating that loses $2.5 million a year.”

Ruh Ro. Sounds like Mr. Havernick has been to Australia.  And he didn't like what he saw.

Betting on greyhounds has fallen by more than half in Florida over the past decade. The dog races now compete for the attention of a generation that came of age with the Internet. “Most people my age and younger have no interest in going to some facility and watching an animal run around in a circle,” Havenick said.

Hey! That's not fair. This is the exciting, glamorous, lucrative world of greyhound racing we're talking about. Fun for the whole family! You can't belittle an action-packed sport like this by calling it animals running around in a circle just because the animals...umm...run around in a circle. OK, you may have a point.

Florida state Sen. Maria Sachs said that the state of Florida loses money on greyhound racing, spending $1.8 million more to regulate the industry than it receives in tax revenues. “We, as a state government, should not be putting money into a sport that is actually inhumane and is losing revenue,” she said.

OK, $2.5 million plus $1.8 million. Let's see, 8 plus 5, carry the two, put your left foot in, take your left foot out...Man! That's some serious coin.  Why, that would buy almost 100 teachers, not that we're saying providing subsidies so the overlords can make their trailer payments isn't just as important as educating the next generation of Florida citizens. Not saying that at all, nosiree.

Former Lt. Gov. Jeff Kottkamp is fighting for one group that opposes decoupling: the people who own and train the dogs. The track owners, he said, shouldn’t be so quick to throw the dog owners under the bus. “They’ve had a lot of benefits of having a monopoly in this arena and made billions of dollars,” he said of the track owners. “If they don’t want to do it anymore, fine. Relinquish the license. Put it out to bid.”

 Yeah. Where's the loyalty man? In a business where part is making money and part isn't you want to drop the part that isn't. Not fair. You should give up the whole thing. We're all family, right. We all sink or swim together, right? What's that you say Roma? As soon as you finished out of the money you were dropped like a hot rock and replaced by some other dog? Well, that's just business Roma, nothing personal.

Hi, my name is Roma. I am a sweet and beautiful red-fawn greyhound (just look at my picture and you will see). I am currently in foster living with two other greyhounds showing me all the things I need to know about house rules (no accidents on my record!). The best part about being in a home is becoming a part of a loving family! I have a soft bed for sleeping, great food, snacks, lots of toys, a big yard to play in, and I get lots of hugs and kisses. Oh, I love going on walks too! Life is GREYT! I enjoy being close to my family, just in case my foster mom wants to give me a good ear rubbing (look at my cute ears) and sometimes a belly rub. I enjoy quieter times too, like snuggling, and watching TV together. My foster mom calls me her “sweet Roma tomato.” I have to agree, I am pretty sweet (not sure about the tomato thing–what is a tomato)? When she calls my name, my tail wags non-stop, as I rush to get lots of hugs and kisses! I am looking for my forever loving home! What are you waiting for? Come and get me! For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Hey, we're back! Did you miss us? Did you even know we were gone? Of course you didn't, you have lives. Well, actually if you're reading this blog...Umm we're going to stop there before we say something we might regret.

OK moving on. So how has life been treating the overlords during the erstwhile holiday season? 

It’s all over but the voting as a bill requiring that injuries to racing greyhounds be reported to the state looks certain to pass the state Senate next year. Senate President Andy Gardiner, R-Orlando, said his chamber is expected to approve the bill during the first week of the session, which starts in March.

 Oh crap. More government paperwork. Look, these are injured dogs, right? So once they're injured they lose their value, you know? Why make the poor overlords fill out a form detailing how the dogs went from assets to liabilities? We mean, if you wrecked your car would you take it to the car wash before the wrecker came and got it? Yeesh, these government bureaucrats just don't understand business, you know? We bet no other state oppresses the overlords with all these useless regulations.

It is appalling that Florida is one of only two states that does not require injuries to racing greyhounds be reported to the state. Alabama is the only other state to show such disregard for the dogs’ welfare.

 Alabama huh? OK you might have a point. Being in the same category as Alabama is sort of like saying my highest goal in life is to be a Kardasian. What do you think Jack Cory, spokesman for the Florida Greyhound Association?

Cory said senators instead should pass the “Greyhound Safety Act” backed by Sen. Chris Smith, D-Fort Lauderdale. That bill would require injury reporting but also mandates a safe track surface and safety devices to protect dogs, among other provisions.

 We're with you Jackie boy, but here's our question: Shouldn't the tracks already do everything they can to have safe track surfaces and devices to protect the dogs? Isn't that like what the kids call a no brainer? Do they really need the state to tell them to do that? We mean, sure they're overlords and all and sometimes they forget that they need to match their feet with their shoes, but...um...OK, we see your point.

Indeed, lawmakers should consider strengthening the bill as the Florida Greyhound Association proposes. The organization, which represents greyhound breeders, owners and kennel operators, suggests mandating such safeguards as appropriate track surfaces and the use of safety devices to protect dogs. Its officials understand dog safety must be paramount if the industry is to withstand the strong opposition of animal protection groups. But lawmakers should not stop at simply improving reporting requirements and track conditions. Legislators next session finally should adopt a measure “decoupling” greyhound racing from a track’s gambling license. Similar past proposals, unfortunately, have failed to make it through the Legislature. Such a law would put an end to the perverse mandate that forces tracks to run the dogs so they can keep their licenses for card games and other gambling operations.

Whoa! Hey, slow down there Buckaroo. Decoupling? You know what that means?

Decoupling the races from the gambling license would allow the marketplace to determine whether the races should be continued.

Right. And what has "the marketplace" had to say about the continued exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit...erm...we mean greyhound racing?

In Florida, the amount bet on dog races is a third of what it was just a decade ago. Only a few tracks still make money on greyhounds, according to a consultant’s report to the legislature. For the rest, the dogs are a loss leader that allows them to continue operating their profitable card rooms and slot machines.

So let's just cool our jets there a little, or in the rush to make racing safer for the greyhounds we make it less safe for the overlords. You would agree with that, right Ivy?

Sweet-natured little Ms. Ivy enjoys being with people whether it’s time to play or time to relax. Did someone mention getting out the squeaky toys and a ball or two? Ivy never misses an opportunity to have fun, and will need a home with a 6′ fence so she’s not tempted to find fun outside of her yard, and even helps tidy up afterwards by taking all toys to her bed. R&R time is good too, best done with her close by–naturally– since you never know when something might come along which would require some needle-nosed attention. Great company, that’s our Ms. Ivy!! For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will remember the sweet birds of youth chirping in the budding trees of hope caressed by the warm breezes of promise, which have now become skeleton like branches, dark against an overcast sky, empty, except for the single black raven that sits silently watching, like death...erm...we mean will remember that we have often discoursed on the relative merits of the overlord's overseers down in the sunshine state and after extensive analysis, study and reflection have generally drawn the conclusion that basically, they suck gravel through a straw. They are to efficiency as stoplights are to space exploration. They are to effectiveness as waterfalls are to windmills. They are to commitment as helicopters are to hermit crabs. They are...well, you get the point. And in spite of the fact that it has become general knowledge that the office housing the aforementioned regulating body is nothing more than a warehouse for idiots, they don't seem to mind.

"You can't have individuals who have been implicated in apparent cases of Greyhound neglect or Greyhound cruelty or serious cases of Greyhound drug positives like cocaine continue to work in this industry for months or years before action is taken on their case," said Theil who heads Grey2K USA, a Greyhound protection organization. 

 Oh, Mr. Theil, you're so cute when expect results. Of course you can have individuals who have been implicated in apparent cases of Greyhound neglect or Greyhound cruelty or serious cases of Greyhound drug positives like cocaine continue to work in this industry for months or years before action is taken on their case. This is Florida we're talking about. You must be thinking about some place where people actually do the job they are hired to do. 

The Contact 5 Investigators discovered as of July 2014, Florida’s Division of Pari-Mutuel wagering, which oversees dog and horse racing in Florida, had yet to resolve approximately 400 complaints that had been lodged against people who do work at the tracks A closer analysis shows nearly 20% of those complaints had been lingering for over one year.

 OK, you have to look at this from the regulator's point of view. They figure the longer it takes them to actually get out of the break room and go do their jobs, the more likely it is the person they are supposed to be investigating will die of old age, thus saving them time and the taxpayers money. It's advanced regulatory agency management theory. You wouldn't understand.

As for the state’s delays, a spokesperson for the FL Department of Business and Professional Regulation writes, "Although cases appear similar in nature, each case can vary drastically based on the totality of factors involved."

When asked to clarify what a "totality of factors" means the spokesperson said, "Well, it's like this: some folks abuse greyhounds by giving them drugs, some abuse greyhounds by not seeing they get proper medical care, some abuse greyhounds just in the basic way they treat them, and some abuse greyhounds by racing them until they are used up, then tossing them out like yesterday's newspaper. You got any idea how hard it is to keep all that straight?"

Oh we hear you FL Department of Business and Professional Regulation spokesperson, we really do. Maybe if you were to look for some sort of common denominator in all these cases you might be able to, you know,  get a handle on things. Of course, actually leaving your office and going into the field to investigate these incidents would help too. Just spitballing here.

In Robert Dawson's 30-year career as a Greyhound trainer, he's been cited by the state more than a dozen times.  Most in involved issues with dog medication and drug violations. This past January, Robert Dawson became the subject of yet another state investigation. This time, one of his dogs tested positive for procaine- a non-performance enhancing drug. While both his cases remain under investigation, Dawson continues his work with the dogs.

 Now why would we want to deprive the dogs of such an obviously devoted and loving caregiver such as Mr. Dawson just because of some unsubstantiated allegations, huh? Ever hear of innocent until proven guilty, or in Mr. Dawson's case innocent until he retires or dies, but the point is, we all know the overlords only got into the wholesale exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit because of their love of the breed, and to deprive Mr. Dawson contact with his beloved greyhounds would be a punishment many times more severe than any the FL Department of Business and Professional Regulation could dish out. Well, if they actually dished out punishments that is, but let's not quibble over details right now.

His attorney, Jennifer Rosenblum, sent us a copy of an email she sent to other media publications. It states in part, "As a trainer, Mr. Dawson is the person who is the absolute insurer of each Greyhound….and as absolute insurer, will receive notice of whatever alleged violation occurs, whether or not it has to do with anything he actually allegedly did.”

See? There's your answer right there. Just because Mr. Dawson's dogs are strung out on drugs doesn't mean he had anything to do with it. Sure it has happened a dozen or so time whenever he was around but it could be anybody. Personally, we blame Obama. What about you Addy?

I am a very playful, curious and loving girl. I love to give kisses. I love to run and play in the yard and play with my toys. I am housebroken. I get along with dogs of all sizes and am cat friendly. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here. 

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent reader(s) of this blog will recall the relief they felt when the weight of expectation was lifted from them...erm...we mean will recall last week when we told you the sad and sordid tale of woe befalling the overlords in West Virginia. Well, it seems the intervening week has not improved conditions.

West Virginia’s greyhound racing industry could well be under siege in the 2015 regular session of the Legislature.

OK, here's a quick reading comprehension tip for those of you out there who may have been sleeping in English class the day they talked about foreshadowing. When a word like "siege" is in the lede of an article, expect bad things to happen to the subjects of said article.

There’s the study that’s been commissioned by the Lottery Commission at the behest of the two current Finance Committee chairmen (Sen. Roman Prezioso, D-Marion, Delegate Brent Boggs, D-Braxton) to determine if it would be in the state’s best interest to eliminate subsidies for greyhound owners and breeders (totaling $22.9 million in fiscal 2013, dropping to about $20 million this year with legislation passed in March cutting greyhound and thoroughbred subsidies by 10 percent).

 Now, we're not economists or anything, but it seems to us that wondering whether to stop giving free money to a bunch of losers like the overlords would be in the best interest of the state is like wondering if the pain will stop if you quit banging your head against the wall. But that's just our opinion. We could be wrong.

Given that the new Republican-controlled Legislature is not likely to propose tax increases to balance the state budget, that $20 million will look awfully tempting.

 Another quick comprehension tip: Any sentence that includes the words "Legislature, money" and "temptation" is going to end with somebody trying to scrape enough cash together to make the application fee for Walmart Greeter School.

Meanwhile, Grey2K USA, a national organization committed to outlawing greyhound racing nationwide for humane issues, has hired Rob Casto as their lobbyist this session.
That’s a significant hire, since before starting his government relations/lobbying group, Casto served more than 17 years as a House staffer, rising to assistant to the speaker.

 Casto huh? That's only one letter away from Castro, and that letter is r which is also the first letter in red. Now, we've always known the animal rights wackos were secret lefties, but we think this makes it pretty obvious that this Theil guy is a flaming commie and he's in league with that Casto fellow to turn West Virgina into some sort of socialistic dystopia where all the money goes to things like social programs, education and stuff leaving the poor overlords to sleep in the park with only their faith in the free enterprise system for a blanket.

Sam Burdette, president of the state Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association, has already made overtures for a buyout plan if the Legislature would pass a decoupling bill – eliminating the requirement that the management of Mardi Gras and Wheeling Downs operate greyhound racing as a condition of maintaining their casino licenses.

Oh sure Sam, turn your back on your fellow overlords. Do you really think sucking up to the new politburo will save you a trip to the reeducation camp when their takeover is complete? It's like you're only in it for the money, Sam, unlike your fellow overlords who are part of the wholesale commodification of innocent living creatures for (no) profit because they love the breed so much. Nobody likes a sellout Sam.

However, the industry is not likely to go down without a fight, likely with outside money and interests pushing for continuing the state subsidies and racing – particularly from Florida, home of 13 of the nation’s 21 remaining greyhound tracks, and where the industry fought to defeat a decoupling bill in the Florida Legislature this year.

Oh man, talk about outside agitators. Oh wait, we thought the Grey2K animal rights wackos were the outside agitators. OK now we're all confused. This make any sense to you Teddy?

I am a very laid back boy. I love to cuddle. I am friendly and love to be around people. I love to have kisses on my head. I get along well with dogs of all sizes and cats. I can go up and down the stairs. I love to go for car rides. I know how to go to the door and tell you I need to go outside. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here. 

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the This Will Not End Well Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The TWNEWD is a division of the I've Got A Bad Feeling About This Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of This Can't Be Good, LLC.

It seems the West Virginia version of the Dunning-Kruger experiment has noticed that all the money they've been funneling to the overlords in the last few years has yet to come back to them. Who could have predicted? Anyway, like good bureaucrats everywhere they have decided to do something about the situation by initiating a study. Hooray for procrastination!

A contract could be awarded this week for a study to determine the fiscal impact of state subsidies for greyhound racing — and the potential costs and benefits of eliminating those subsidies.

 Uh oh. The Legislature has put a contract out on the overlords. HaHaHaHa! A contract and a "contract." Play on words there. Get it? You people really shouldn't read this blog until you've had your coffee.

State Lottery Director John Musgrave said “We were asked by the two present Finance chairs, through the Department of Revenue, to do a study to assess dog racing, and make a determination to see if decoupling is viable”  West Virginia is one of several states that require racetrack casinos to also offer live thoroughbred or greyhound racing. With “decoupling,” the casinos are no longer obligated to offer live racing, or use casino revenues to subsidize racing purses.

Well, it depends on what you mean by "viable" there Mr. Musgrave sir. If you mean cutting loose the cash sucking overlord albatross from around the necks of the casinos and the state then sure, it's viable. If you mean subsidizing the overlords' reluctance to get jobs, then not so much.

“It seems like greyhound racing is on a path of destruction,” Sen. Roman Prezioso said. “They’re losing money, and we’d like a study to see how much money they’re losing and what they can do about it.” Prezioso said that in tough budget times, it’s difficult for the state to keep directing millions of dollars a year to what appears to be a failing industry. “We’re supporting that industry, and it just doesn’t seem right,” he said. “We can’t keep subsidizing an industry that’s failing.”

Here's a little financial tip for you Senator Prezioso: If an industry is losing money they don't "appear" to be a failing industry, they are a failing industry. See, because the whole idea of being in business is to make money. Hope this was helpful.

In September, Sam Burdette, president of the West Virginia Greyhound Owners and Breeders Association, told a legislative interim committee that, between the reduced purse fund subsidies and an ongoing decline in wagering on live races, the greyhound industry in the state is struggling to survive. He said at the time that only about three of the 17 kennels racing at the Mardi Gras Casino and Racetrack in Nitro were making a profit, citing weekly revenue reports from the racetrack.

"And the only reason those three are showing any profit at all is because the trainers make the kennel help sell plasma down at the Red Cross," Burdette added. Geez, Mr. Burdette, that's a bit extreme don't you think? What about bake sales, or  auctions? On second thought, to have an auction you'd need to have something people want to auction off and since most people don't want to have anything at all to do with the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit, it might be hard to attract bidders. Plasma might be the way to go after all. What do you think Frank?

I am a head-strong boy but I am easily re-directed if I need to be corrected for something. Nothing upsets me. I love to cuddle. I am friendly. I love to be around people. I have met all kinds of new people and love them all. I enjoy getting kisses on my head. I am housebroken. I can go up and down the stairs. I love to go in the car. I get along with dogs of all sizes and kitties too. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here. 

Hounds Home For The Holidays

We thought we'd try and catch you before you head off to the annual Turkey bake, gravy lake, tummy ache, for heaven's sake, big mistake, give us a break Uncle Jake football wake and see if we could convince you to offer your couch on a long term lease to a homeless skinny dog. Also, we plan to be in a tryptophan induced coma ourselves, at least until the Lions game--and depending on how they play, maybe during.

And speaking of induced comas...Stoli.

But what conversation with you our esteemed reader(s) would be complete without mention of everyone's favorite social pariahs, the overlords. But in the spirit of the coming War on Christmas which unites us every year in the annual holier than thou national freakout, we thought we'd forgo our usual expedition to Dimholt forest and leave the overlords to their holiday feast which we believe is comprised of the souls of innocent children. We could be wrong about that. Anyway, for a change of pace, let's go visit an animal rights wacko and see how she's spending the upcoming festivities. No doubt drinking green tea and polishing her Birkenstocks with organic macerated tree bark, no?

Ellen Schmidt is one of 40 greyhound activists who plan to protest today in front of the Naples-Fort Myers Greyhound Racing and Poker Room in Bonita Springs. The protesters want state legislators to pass a greyhound injury reporting law that would require Florida's 13 dog tracks to notify the state of every injury at their facilities. The activists also want legislators to stop a Florida law that forces dog tracks to race greyhounds in order to keep their poker room permits.

 Obviously Ellen hasn't any knowledge of greyhound racing or she would know that the units...erm...dogs are given the highest level of care possible if by some almost statistically impossible chance they are injured, the tracks are expertly maintained by a crack staff, and no expense is spared in making their off track lives comfortable. 

The "decoupling" bill is expected to see the House floor this spring. Naples-Fort Myers track owner Izzy Havenick supports the bill because greyhound racing is losing him about $2 million a year as fewer and fewer bet on the old sport.

 OK, here's our dilemma: Mr. Havenick is obviously an overlord, yet he wants to end the commodification of innocent living creatures for (no) profit, so does that make him an animal rights wacko? On first blush, one might say no, because he's only in it for the money, yet regardless of his motivation, the outcome would be less greyhounds doomed to a life of potential suffering, injury and death. Does Mr. Havenick's means, justify the end? Would Ms. Schmidt count him as a colleague even though his reasons are suspect? Will Batman escape the Joker's trap? Stay tuned.

"Decoupling is part of a much bigger picture," said state Sen. Garrett Richter, R-Naples, who headed the Senate's gaming committee in the last session. "There is an entire debate that transpires over gaming, dog racing, and destination casinos. That whole subject has to come into that context and probably be considered for all its components."

"And before you ask why we don't just spin off the greyhound issue and deal with it separately because from a legal standpoint decoupling wouldn't materially affect the bigger gambling issue, remember this is Florida you're talking about." Senator Richter said. "We never met a straight forward, uncomplicated issue we couldn't screw up."

"We have been saying for years now that the Legislature needs to do something about dog racing," Havenick said. "At least allow the market to dictate how much we can race rather than using an antiquated law."

"Well, we have been trying to do something," Richter replied, "But why try and solve one problem when you can lump them all together  and do nothing about anything? I mean, why did the people elect us anyway?"

Well, you may have a point there Senator Richter. Look all around the country today at almost any level of government and it seems the whole idea of politics is to shout loudly and warm a chair. Really talented politicians can actually do both at once. Pretty impressive huh Hunter?

I am very attached to people and love to be around them. I am a low-key girl. Since I have been in my foster home, I have had a bath and had my nails trimmed and I was not fazed at all by any of it. I can go up and down the stairs. I am a very smart girl. I am housebroken. I don’t mind being in my crate if nobody is home but I love to be around people so much that I don’t want to be in it if someone is home. I get along with dogs of all sizes and I am also cat friendly. I love to go for walks and go to the dog park to run and play.For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.