Friday, February 06, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from the If It Weren't For Bad Luck, Wouldn't Have Any Luck At All Department here in the marbled halls of IM Central. The IIWFBLWHALAA Department is a division of the Sunk So Low Have To Look Up To See Down Corporation, a wholly owned subsidy of It's Always Darkest Just Before Someone Hits You In The Head With A Shovel, NA.

As we have chronicled in this blog, 2015 has not been kind to the overlords. We mean, when you read headlines like  State subsidies for greyhound racing could be better spent and Dog Racing Becoming A Thing of the Past and those are the good news stories, at least compared to Orange Park greyhound racing deaths at top in the state well, let's just say the heartless exploitation of innocent living creatures for (no) profit has a bit of a problem vis-a-vis people who can count and have souls.

But, say what you will about the overlords--and we often do--they've never been a group of third grade dropouts with substance abuse problems and anger management issues that lets a little thing like reality get them down, right JJ Steinoff of Kenosha, a member of United Greyhound Racing?
To start, I would bring back the greyhounds but add pari-mutuel snowmobile racing in the winter months as an added attraction.
OK, Wisconsin, snowmobiles. We get that. But it sounds like you're saying people would come out to see helpless greyhounds caught in the meat grinder of a dying industry risk death and injury, and when they couldn't see that they'd settle for snowmobile racing. You are talking about the Wisconsin on planet earth, right?
Greyhound racing has made great strides in the last few years, with attendance and overall handle up at many tracks and the sport just had its first national championship race since 1993.
 OK, we think we see your problem. See when people drive by the track and happen to glance at the empty parking lot and the crumbling buildings, that doesn't count as "attendance." And as for the national championship thing? That's like the "Miss Universe" contest. You can call it whatever you want, but that doesn't mean that's really what it is.
I fully believe that the sport’s best days are ahead of us and would be happy to share our blueprint for future success to anyone interested.
Well, if by "best days are ahead of us" you mean soon all the greyhounds living in money losing deathcamps will be liberated and the overlords will finally have to get real jobs, then yeah, we're with you. Otherwise, not so much.
Snowmobile racing, even without wagering, is extremely popular up north and I feel the races would be a huge attraction in this part of the state, especially if used with the same interactive and modern technology that the greyhounds would be using. Only the first floor of the Dairyland building would be needed for racing.
Um...Mr. Steinoff sir? Having push and pull signs on the doors so the rubes can figure out how to get in and out is not  "interactive and modern technology." We do get what you're saying about the first floor though, but you can get even more specific than that. Since only about six people show up for greyhound races anyway, you could probably get by with just that table over in the corner. You know, the one with the wobbly legs and the mismatched chairs?
The next revenue idea for the Menominee is to create a fantasy sports app and then build an intimate sports bar/sports book type setting on the second floor of Dairyland. In the last five years, fantasy sports has taken off and exploded into a whole new area of sports wagering. Plus, it’s 100 percent legal in Wisconsin, as long as the prize is not tied to a score of the contest but is predicted on statistics. People love to bet on football, baseball and basketball and fantasy sports has the potential to be bigger than any gambling platform the world has ever seen.
Well, you may be right Mr. Steinoff, but here's our question: Why would anyone want to be down on the first floor reading some wrinkled old racing form, surrounded by drunks and people without teeth when that person could be up on the second floor being part of an experience "bigger than any gambling platform the world has ever seen?" You have any thoughts on the matter Nevah?


This lovely girl, who’s name is “Haven” spelled backwards has just been liberated. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

15 comments:

Nancy said...

I read this article and shook my head. Taking a perch on a limb and saying Steinoff has not done much research in the condition of greyhound racing. Perhaps he should rethink it when he is sober and has the facts...

Robert Gross said...

Nancy, sober moments are rare for Fred Barton. By the way, Fred, how come your pals at Grey2k have spoken out AGAINST the Greyhound Safety Act?

Ironicus Maximus said...

Well, actually Big G we have discoursed on the Greyhound Safety Act. It is, how do you say...a canard,
http://ironicusmaximus.blogspot.com/2015/01/friday-hound-blogging.html

Robert Gross said...

I know comprehension isn't your strong suite, Freddie. It's really a shame that a part-time school teacher, like yourself, cannot read the bill and understand how much it would help greyhounds. Speaks volumes for your agenda.

Ironicus Maximus said...

You know, I've often wondered if the overlords were born with an inability to see the point, or if it's a skill they developed over the years.
Why would you need the state to tell the tracks to be safe? Shouldn't they be doing everything in their power to do that anyway? Shouldn't the trainers who race dogs on those tracks demand they be as safe as can be?
After all, it's all about the dogs, right?

Robert Gross said...

Using that logic, Barton, there are a lot of laws I guess we just don't need on the books. Fact is, a lot of pari-mutuel license holders don't maintain their track properly. So, according to you, we should just let it be. After all, every injured greyhound means money in the pocket for your pals at Grey2k, right? So, Fred Barton (Ironicus Maximus) only wants to report on injuries, and do absolutely nothing to prevent them? That's pretty messed up.

Ironicus Maximus said...

You know, if you refused to race your dogs at places where "pari-mutuel license holders don't maintain their track properly" they wouldn't make money and that might convince them to improve...oh wait, you do race your dogs on unsafe tracks and they're still not making money. That's why they want to dump your scrawny white buttocks. Sorry. Our bad.

Robert Gross said...

I'm just a little surprised that Grey2k at its minions (e.g. Fred Barton / Ironicus Maximus) are not interested in preventing injuries to greyhounds. The only logical reason for that would be money. Exploiting greyhound injuries means money in your pocket. Again, pretty messed up. Even for an animal rights extremist, like yourself.

Ironicus Maximus said...

OK, here's the deal: You stop putting dogs at risk of injury and death, we don't have anything to exploit Bam! We're out of business, you win!Get started right away, OK?

Robert Gross said...

Everything on this earth is at risk of injury or death. Greyhound racing is here to stay. The PETA / HSUS / ALF / Grey2k fanatics can scream all they want. People are beginning to see through your lies and misleading propaganda.

Ironicus Maximus said...

"Greyhound racing is here to stay." Awww, you overlords are so cute when you're delusional. Tell that to the overlords in Pennsylvania (2004), Massachusetts
(2010), Rhode Island (2010),New Hampshire(2010)and Colorado (2014). Also, the United States Territory of Guam (2010).

Tell it to the overlords at the 27 dog tracks have closed or stopped live racing operations since 2001.

Oh, and as a special heads up--just because we like you--better tell it to the legislators in West Virgina. And hurry!

Tom Grady said...

So an industry responsible for a massive number of greyhound deaths and injuries over just the last few years wants us to believe THEY are the promoter of greyhound safety?

Ban the industry outright and the greyhounds will really be safe.

Robert Gross said...

So Tom, you want to do away with all human / animal enterprises?

Robert Gross said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ironicus Maximus said...

Ah, Big G, when it comes to missing the point you truly Senior Ultimo