Friday, April 10, 2015

Friday Hound Blogging

You know, nothing ticks off the overlords more than when their dirty little secret leaks out into the larger society of fully functioning human beings. And by dirty little secret we of course mean the wholesale exploitation and cruel comodification of innocent living creatures for (no) profit.

But Ironicus, you say, their dirty little secret has been leaking out for years now. In fact we are all teary eyed from that vile stench that has been off gassing from the bilious festering boil that is greyhound racing. This it true astute reader(s) of this blog, but what we are talking about is when some previously non-affiliated organization or business suddenly steps forward and says to the overlords through their actions "you guys are whack and your industry is a barbaric travesty that is an open wound on the soul of humanity!" Or words to that effect. Case in point: Recently the Whole Foods outlet in Arlington Virginia agreed to donate 5% of a day's sales to the Grey2K Education fund.

Now generally the phrase Grey2K by itself is enough to cause overlord apoplexy ( see Iowa, Des Moines, Pg 1 pgh 13) but then you go and add education into the word stream and it's spittle flecked rants all around! Take overlord Deby Guffy for example:
Many retired racing greyhound owners were wanting to comment on this abhorrent, ignorant fundraising participation. Whole Foods - shame on you for deleting their posts . Shame on you for ignoring the facts of the life if a racing greyhound. Educate yourselves by going to greyhoundfacts.org Whole Foods- you owe an apology to millions of retired racing greyhound owners, breeders, trainers and others. We won't forget.
First of all, kudos to overlord Guffy for spelling the word abhorrent correctly. She seems to have a bit more on the ball grammatically than overlord Betty Carlson-Jameson who blurted:
You WILL be losing customers! and (sic) is that not your botom (sic) line?
 *Deep English teacher sigh* Another student sleeping in class the day they talked about modification. On second thought though, since this is a topic that usually comes up around the fourth or fifth grade, perhaps overlord Carlson-Jameson had already left school at that point, having attained all the skills and abilities she would need to pursue a career in animal exploitation. If that's the case, let us be the first to inform you overlord Carlson-Jameson that, aside from the spelling and capitalization errors, the way your sentence is written it is saying that the bottom line of Whole Foods is losing customers. Or, to put it in a form you may find more understandable, Whole Foods WILL lose customers, and that is their botom line. No need to thank us for the clarification. It's what we do.

Now let's get back to overlord Guffy for a moment who entreats us to educate ourselves by visiting a site called greyhound facts. Being curious types here in the marbled halls we took overlord Guffy up on her invite and went to learn some greyhound facts. We learned that greyhounds like to play with toys, which, while we have no doubt is a fact left us wondering about some other, perhaps more relevant facts like how racing greyhounds are fed, how they are injured and killed, and how they are abandoned. Couldn't find those facts. Nosiree. Nowhere to be seen.

Next to hurl a loogie was overlord Lesley Roberts Tierney Ezkovich who suffers from a surfeit of names.
I have an adoption group, a real adoption group in the New Orleans area, set us up with a fundraiser. 
Apparently overlord  Lesley Roberts Tierney Ezkovich etc. and so forth doesn't quite grasp the idea of fund raising. Perhaps it's because she is used to receiving handouts from state coffers and casino profits instead of actually trying to earn her way. You know, when you've been on the dole for as long as the overlords have and you meet someone who actually has to work to get money it can be confusing.

And finally we come to overlord Dee Dee Avila who has learned a thing or two about the world as a result of the fundraiser:
I didn't realize grocery shopping and politics go hand in hand unless food related.
Of course overlord Avila, of course. Why didn't we see that? Grocery shopping is food related. That explains why, during the last presidential election, no matter how carefully we went through the produce section we couldn't find Romney's position on the Middle East problem. Thanks for clearing that up. What about you Smoke? You ever go looking for parimutuel regulations in the canned goods aisle?


Smoke can live with cats and small dogs but we don't yet know if he can be an only dog. For more information about these dogs, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.

9 comments:

bgsteelfan said...

Does the ironic part of this blog name stem from the liberal use of fallacy and misdirection as rhetorical tools?

Stacey said...

I think it's interesting how one can critique others' grammar with typos in their own blog...
"This it true astute reader(s) of this blog." Hmmm...Ironic.
Or how you can accuse an adoption group (a real charity) needing a fundraiser of asking for "handouts" when that is what you're doing, and do all the time, while you collect a salary from those donations. Hypocrisy much?

Stacey said...

Eta: your blog comes across as representing G2k, whose board members do collect a salary. While I am not clear on your affiliation with said group, I am aware you are with Re-GAP, another adoption group, which still makes you a hypocrit.

Ironicus Maximus said...

Overlord Stacey is quite correct. Meaning to type is and typing it instead is a typographical error, commonly referred to as a typo. Now here's a fun fact: The word hypocrite usually appears on vocabulary lists in the 7th grade. Should have stayed in school another couple of years there Stace.

Ironicus Maximus said...

Oh, and as for my affiliation with Grey2K. I'm Christine Dorchak's adopted son.

Stacey said...

I'm an accountant, spelling is not my area of expertise, but you are a professor of a writing class? There is no excuse for you.

Stacey said...

And you're being awfully presumptuous to assume I am involved in racing. I'm only an adopted greyhound parent, but I know BS when I see it. At least I'm not hiding behind a screen name.

Robert Gross said...

I thought Carey was your "son". Not that there is anything with that. Whatever floats your boat, Freddie.

Karyn Zoldan said...

Hilarious as usual especially how the overlords check in to see what you are writing.

Those of us on the other side of the fence and the moon don't read their crap.