Friday Hound Blogging

We're coming to you today from an undisclosed location here in the marbled halls of IM Central which is definitely not down in the cocktail supply room in the comfy chair that's in front of the 60' plasma. So don't even bother looking there. Seriously. Waste of time. The reason we've gone dark is so we can report to you on some big time 007 stuff those pesky animal rights wackos recently carried out on the overlords. Now, you might think why would anyone want to surreptitiously surveil the overlords, what with the poor personal hygiene, unpredictable psychotic episodes and chronically untied shoes.

Ha. Well that just shows you why you aren't in the spy business. What if all those unsavory characteristics are just a front? A ruse to keep the public's prying eyes out of their business. A subterfuge to divert attention from their nefarious activities. OK, they're not. Overlords are really like that, but it's the only way we could segue to this week's post.

An undercover investigation by Panorama has caught a trainer revealing how he doped greyhounds in order to rig bets - which he claims have paid out up to £150,000.

How can this be, you ask. We know the overlords put the health and welfare of their furry charges above all else. As professional athletes the units...erm...dogs have to be kept in tip top shape, fed the best food available and kept in posh surroundings so that they can compete at the highest levels. Plus, there's the whole we lurvvves our hounds part of racing which is why the overlords decided to subject innocent living beings to the commodification required to make them into (no) profit centers in the first place. So, is this just some cunning plot by the animal rights wackos to besmirch the overlord's otherwise spotless reputations? What do you think overlord Chris Mosdall?

Chris Mosdall, has raced at a number of tracks but most recently been racing weekly at Wimbledon Stadium, home of the English Greyhound Derby - the most prestigious race in the sport. He told the undercover reporter that he doped dogs in his care despite knowing the risks to their health. He said he must wait a couple of months before doping a dog for a second time as the practice messed her system up. "You will burn her kidneys out," he said. And despite boasting that he was known as "the biggest crook in Wimbledon," he revealed that he had long been able to get away with cheating, saying: "It's been ten years since I've been caught."

And there you have it. It seems the animal rights wackos will stop at nothing to concoct fabrications that show the overlords in a bad light. It's almost like they wait, what?

Panorama bought a dog from Mr Mosdall, which he continued to kennel and train, and covertly filmed him showing the drug he used to alter the dog's performance.Three days later he said he had used the drug to dope two dogs before they raced and correctly predicted the effect the substance would have on their placings.

What we have here is the classic case of the "bad apple." An obviously unscrupulous, heartless and uncaring person such as Mr. Mosdall will now face the full wrath and fury of the industry.

The GBGB have apparently been repeatedly warned by other trainers in the last two years that some dogs at Wimbledon showed signs of having been drugged. But Mr Mosdall was only stopped after the GBGB was alerted about the undercover investigation.

Now, two years may seem like a long time to followup on complaints that were coming from other overlords, but you have to take into consideration the industry-wide competition among the various regulating bodies in greyhound racing to be designated the most ineffectual and useless there is, with bonus points for actually making greyhounds less safe while under the benevolent protection of the overlords. Right now the GBGB is only three points behind Florida's Department of Business and Professional Regulation and there's still two months to go in the season.

We also examined the record of the regulator - the Greyhound Board of Great Britain (GBGB) - in dealing with trainers whose dogs tested positive for drugs, including substances such as steroids, beta blockers or cocaine. In some instances, trainers have accumulated multiple positive tests while being allowed to retain their licences and continue racing their dogs.

 Oh yeah baby! Suck on that Florida! Time to make room for that trophy on the mantle. GBGB! GBGB! GBGB!

The trainer said he treated his dogs with love and care and that he would never do anything to harm them. He said that he regretted the admissions he had made to the undercover journalist, and said that he had only been trying to convince him that he could give his dog an advantage.

Oh...um...well, sorry Mr. Trainer sir. Our mistake. We've obviously been misled by the animal rights wackos and their stated agenda of turning us all into tofu eating, Birkenstock wearing, green tea drinkers because if you can't trust the word of an overlord, who can you trust, right Carlo?

I am mellow, laid-back and very friendly. I am a very lovable boy. I am housebroken. I get along great with dogs my size but I have not met any small dogs yet. I am learning to play with toys. I am also learning to go up and down the stairs. I do not mind being in my crate. For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here and here.