Friday, February 15, 2013

Friday Hound Blogging

Frequent readers of this blog acquiesce to ennui...erm...we mean know that one of the things the overlords fear most whenever a track closes is losing control over their precious greyhounds and not being able to care for them throughout their lives just like  they were part of the family. Also, too big investment that needs to be protected.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We crack us up.

Seriously, the thing overlords fear most is having to get a job, and with good reason too. After all there's not a big market for substance abusers with anger issues and poor people skills. But that might all be changing thanks to technology.
As the race begins, the dogs leap out of their traps like missiles. “Trap four has taken the lead!” shouts an excited commentator as they come around the first bend. The race could be at any number of gritty greyhound tracks across the country. But it exists only on a screen in a south London betting shop. The dogs are computer-animated; the commentary is pre-scripted and automatic.
 This is perfect see, because being a greyhound overlord is a great job except for that whole having to spend money taking care of the dogs thing. Plus there's the occasional oversight as well as...how to say this politely... periodic inventory reductions.

But with virtual greyhound racing, none of that matters. Run out of 4D meat to feed your dogs? Who cares, virtual dogs don't eat. Have a dog injure itself? Can you say "delete key?" Dogs not winning enough? Reboot. And all without those pesky animal rights wackos coming around going on and on about living creatures, compassion, morality, yadda yadda yadda and ending with accusing you of being a soulless bag of wasted protein.

Yeah. Like you haven't heard that before, but your parents haven't called in a while have they?

Now, there will be some retraining necessary as the transference of skills won't be one to one, and we here in the marbled halls of IM Central are ready to help. We've given this a lot of thought, done some pretty extensive research and we feel we've come up with a training program that fits your skill set  and has the added benefit of using pictures instead of words to convey your options, so that whole can't read thing? Shouldn't be a problem, right W.W?


W.W. On Site Sail is a little bit of a shy boy but is learning how to live in a home environment. He was not sure how to handle touching and affection at first but now wags his tail when being petted. Sail is learning a lot from the other dogs in my foster home He already knows how to go up and down the stairs and throw  squeaky toys up in the air and then catch them. He likes kids that are a little older and calm so they don’t make him nervous. He housebroken and doesn't mind being in the crate. Sail loves to go for walks and does really well on the leash. His  foster mom describes him as an “angel.” Sail would do well in a home with a single owner or a family with older well-behaved kids. He is really attached to the foster dogs in the home  and probably wouldn't do well as an only dog. Sail doesn’t like cats.
For more information about this dog, and other rescued racing greyhounds looking for homes, go here. If you don't know about the plight of racing greyhounds go here.

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